Thoughts to fingers, for all the world to see..

My Singing Grandma

2020-02-14T08:00:00Z

Things you should know about me: I love to write, I love to talk, I love to laugh, I love my family, I suck at good byes, and I cry at the drop of a hat. So when I was asked to write a eulogy for my grandma after she passed away on Valentine's Day 2019, I immediately said "yes" (well, after realizing that my grandpa asking if I wanted to be a "eulogist" wasn't some doctor that specialized in whatever body part the eu was... in my defense, we had just spent 4 very long days meeting with every -oloist you can imagine while praying that the right one would walk into the room to help my grandma.. but God had other plans). I really struggled and wrote and rewrote the thing from scratch more times than I can count and I finally clicked Print and wouldn't let myself make any other modifications. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to make people smile, I wanted to try not to cry, I wanted to honor my grandma, and I wanted to point to Christ.

Here's my eulogy. Posting this here mostly for me, but also a little bit so that you can know her better.

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Growing up, my sisters and I were lucky enough to have three sets of grandparents. Our grandparents were never “Grandma and Grandpa Weisenberger” or “Grandma and Grandpa Beatty”. They were never “nana” and “papa”. They had other names.

My dad’s parents are Tiki Grandma and Grandpa (named after their dog Tiki) and Smokey Grandma and Grandpa (also named after a dog, and not because they smoked - which I didn’t learn until about 5 years ago). But my mom’s parents, Chris and Carole Beatty, didn’t have real dogs that we could name them after. I suppose we could have gone with a location-based nickname: so they would have started as “Texas Grandma and Grandpa” and then changed to “Nashville Grandma and Grandpa” and then switched again to “Myrtle Beach Grandma and Grandpa”… but that’s just confusing for everyone. So these grandparents have always been appropriately named: “Singing Grandma and Grandpa”.

This nickname probably makes a lot of sense to most of you – Chris and Carole Beatty are Vocal Coach. But my Grandma was never the singer. You wouldn’t hear her singing a song on stage at a church or a concert hall - that has always been my Grandpa.

She would sing about other things.

She would sing about her Yankees. Actually, if I’m honest, you would probably hear a mixture of her singing about her Yankees and her yelling at her Yankees. If you knew her well, you knew to check if the Yankees were playing before calling her. You knew that in February and March every year she relocated to her home away from home for Spring Training in Florida - where she could sing about them.. and yell at them.. in person.

I would hear her sing about the girly things: nail polish, makeup, and jewelry. My Grandma’s nails were always perfect. I have very distinct memories of being an 11-year-old chatting on AOL Instant Messenger with her singing about what nail polish remover we should be using because the acetone was just making our nails way too weak. When she found a nail color she liked, I would then get that color for Christmas. I remember her painting her toe nails a bright, bright green, and then her singing the story of the fish in the ocean nibbling at her toes. My obsession with always having my nails painted came from her.

Visiting Singing Grandma and Grandpa when we were younger meant going through bags and bags of old Clinique eye shadow, blush, and lipstick.

I was able to go to Nashville and help pack before they moved to Myrtle Beach in 2016, and while sorting through her jewelry I commented that I had always loved this big, silver, heart necklace that she had. She gave it to me without question - while singing a story about how when I was little I would always pop the cold, silver heart in my mouth while she was holding me – I guess I really have always loved it.

I have an obsession with accessories - specifically sunglasses and making sure I match - and I’m fairly certain it comes from watching her get ready in the mornings when we were together.

She would sing about Myrtle Beach. She loved this place. Myrtle Beach is so drastically different than where she lived in Nashville and it was a little difficult for me to picture her here. Even while the house was being built and I got to see floor plans and pictures and videos, and hear her sing about the different cabinets that were being installed and all of the different features being added.. I still couldn’t picture it - I didn’t get it.

And then I came out here.

I feel like I can hear her singing in my ear as I see more and more of Myrtle Beach - and I finally realize that the house was just the perfect cherry on top to why she loved this city. I can now hear her singing about the neighborhood where she lives – where dogs ride shotgun in golf carts, I can hear her singing about the palm trees as they sway in the wind.. and then the wind would be too cold and she’d need a blanket, and I can hear her singing about the friends that she’s made in Market Commons.

And I can hear her singing about this church. My grandparents have a way of being instantly loved and welcomed everywhere they go - whether it’s a new city, a restaurant, a doctor’s office, or the Apple Store, my grandparents always seem to have made new friends - and this church is no exception. I am thankful for the deep friendships that have been built through this church.. I can hear her singing about the people, the relationships, and the teaching. Trinity helped make Myrtle Beach home.

My grandma would sing about my grandpa, Chris Beatty. To my sisters and me, my grandpa has always been Gaston from "Beauty and the Beast" - not because he’s scary and mean (quite the opposite) but us Southern California, born-and-raised girls associated the biggest and strongest character from a Disney movie with the biggest and strongest man in our lives - our grandpa. But to my grandma, he wasn’t Gaston.. He was Prince Charming.

She would sing about their adventures together. She would sing about how much he made her laugh. She would sing about how he was always, always by her side. She would sing about how well he served her. She would sing about how much she loved him. My grandma got to sing with my grandpa for 42 years. She had her happily ever after with her Prince Charming.

But the thing that my grandma would sing about the most, would sing the loudest about, and would want you join in singing about, too: would be Jesus Christ.

I’ve spent my entire life watching her, hearing her, and learning from her as she clung to He Who is stronger, wiser, and the most loving.

During great times - she prayed and thanked God.

During bad times - she prayed and thanked God.

During still times - she prayed and thanked God.

Her steadfast love for Him was undeniable and something that you couldn’t miss.

If you ever wondered what it was about my grandma that made her who she was - it was Jesus.

If you ever wondered why she cared the way she did - it was Jesus.

If you ever wondered where the joy came from - it was Jesus.

If you only have room to remember one thing about Carole - remember Jesus.

Grandma sang about a lot of things - I didn’t even talk about her singing about New York, or singing about being Jewish, or singing about how much I know she loved my mom, dad, sisters, and me.

But there is so much joy and peace in my heart in knowing that my Singing Grandma is singing at the top of her lungs with her arms raised high in the presence of God. And knowing that is what makes today a genuine celebration of the life, love, and faith of my Singing Grandma, Carole Maxine Beatty.

Incomplete.. but still thankful

2015-12-26T03:00:55Z

I would have thought that it would get easier to send my sister off on these "trips", but the problem is that they keep getting longer ("see ya in 6 weeks!", "see ya in 7!", "these 3 months will go by so fast!", "you'll be home right after VBS!", "two years is nothing!"). And the goodbyes don't get easier. And her being gone isn't any easier. In fact, even the conversations don't get any easier.

Most conversations with my sister involve tears of some sort - sometimes during, sometimes after. Especially because of where she's located, for her safety we can't talk about everything, so sometimes the conversation feels so superficial, because that's how it needs to be. And I hate that.

Most conversations even just about my sister promise tears later that day. But that doesn't mean don't ask about her.. Because not talking about her can lead to the same problem. People stop asking about her, and that gives me a fear that people aren't praying for her - they forget she's not here (please don't stop praying). And then someone does ask about her.. and it's hard to decide in the moment whether you should tell them a) she's doing great! b) there were gunshots in the background of our last phone call or c) we haven't been able to talk in a month, but always d) I miss her a lot.

I have yet to pray for her without crying.

Getting together with family is bittersweet. We love being together, but it's glaringly obvious that she's not there. We're incomplete. At least some point during every time we're all together someone will tear up. Sometimes we're lucky enough to be able to get her to join us over FaceTime while we're all together.. But even though we'll take silly pictures of it - man, does it suck that she's not actually here. And the FaceTime is awkward because we want to talk with her and we know she wants to be part of what's happening, but it's hard to eat turkey and open presents while holding an iPad in one hand and she's ten hours ahead.. It's just not the same.

And then there's a bunch of little things that no one warns you about..

Did you know that Sprint doesn't have a "long term missionary" phone plan? My mom has been trying to figure out what to do about her phone line since August. In the midst of a frustrated call with Sprint the other day, I said "what do you do if someone's in the military!?" to which the Sprint representative said that there was a special plan for those situations and asked if my sister was in the military.. And I responded in an extremely calm and loving way (or not..) stating that "No, my sister is not in the military, but she's in the same country as them and she doesn't even have a gun to protect herself!". Not my finest moment, but clearly I was having a moment of missing my sister.

What do you do with their room? Keep it exactly the same or turn it into a guest room - that of course she can use when she comes home, but then will it really feel like home for her?

I struggled with buying Christmas presents this year - shouldn't I take the money I'm spending on people and just send the money to her for this month? Or do I not buy anyone any presents and instead save the money to put towards a plane ticket to go visit her?

It's hard not to try and live like time is standing still while she's gone - I don't want her to miss out on anything! I recently moved out and it's been a lot of fun, but I hated packing and moving without her being here to help and be a part of it. I don't really want to date anyone because I don't want to risk falling in love and her not getting to know the guy and watch it happen. I'm so excited that she'll be here for VBS this summer, because I'd rather her be here for it than for me to exhaustingly recap it at the end of the week for her.

The hardest part of it all.. Is that saying this stuff feels wrong. For a lot of reasons. There are people going through life without a loved one because they've passed away, but my sister is alive and is a text or FaceTime call away (most days). She's healthy. We know she's coming home (even if just for a few weeks). And she's doing what God has called her to do.

That last one is really the thing that I struggle with the most. It feels WRONG to miss her and wish she was here.. When she is right where God wants her to be. I regularly wrestle with an insane amount of guilt for just wishing she was sleeping in her bedroom at my parent's house or teaching Sunday School with me. I've been told countless times that it's okay to miss her even if she is serving God, but it still feels wrong to say it. It feels like I'm doubting God's placement of her and control of the situation, even though I know she's exactly where she should be.

All this to say.. The holidays have been tough this year. I wish my sister was here.

But even through the tears (goodness, this post was tough to write out), I'm thankful for who Christ is, for how much He loves us, and for the love that my sister has for Him. That even on the toughest days, I can be confident in knowing that she is right where He wants her to be.

And if you've read through all of this, the next time you say a pray for a missionary you know.. Pray for their family, too.

Sticks and stones may break my bones..

2015-06-01T08:12:37Z

...But words will never hurt me.

That's a lie.

I can't sleep. And normally when I can't sleep, I end up staying up trying to figure out why I can't sleep. But not tonight. Tonight I know exactly why I can't sleep.

I received a lot of compliments today. I wore a cute dress and my hair looked pretty great. A compliment on Sunday morning tends to happen most weeks in some capacity, and I've been working on accepting them gracefully instead of turning them into moments of "thanks, but I hate my shoes". Today I received a bunch more than normal, and it was a nice little plus to my morning.

At some point this evening, I pulled into a parking lot and as I opened my door I got a text. I grabbed my phone to respond it and two people on bicycles rode by - looked like they were having a nice evening date. The girl then said to the guy "look at that fat*** being lazy in her car". I heard it, and thought "what a rude thing to say about someone", hit Send on my text.. And then realized.. She was talking about me.

She was talking about me. Because I was sitting in my car responding to a text (instead of running while responding to the text?), she felt like resorting to Junior High name calling because she didn't like how I looked. I didn't know what to do. I mean, there wasn't really anything I could do - they were skinnybutts being active on bicycles so they were no longer around.

I don't pretend to be a skinny girl. I should eat better. I should exercise more. But I am how I am right now, and I'm not going to hide in my bedroom avoiding the world until things change. I'm sociable, so I'm gonna be out and about, and I'll try and look cute doing it.

However... As they rode away, I wish I could say that I remembered all of the compliments from earlier, laughed it off, held my head up high and just continued on with my day. But I didn't. I sat in my car and cried. Now I was being a fat*** crying in my car. I haven't cried because of name calling in a very, very long time. I finally stopped crying, went inside.. Found a restroom to make sure I didn't look like I'd been crying.. And started crying again. Eventually the tears subsided and I kept doing what I needed to do

I've stopped crying, but I haven't stopped thinking about it. And I'm not sitting here thinking about what I can do to prove her wrong. I'm not sitting here staring at a mirror, finding every flaw. I'm not sitting here thinking of all of the names I could've called her.

I'm sitting here unable to sleep because I'm angry at myself for letting that one comment ruin my day.

I let that one negative comment overshadow everything else that happened today. I shouldn't care about what anyone else thinks - whether what they think is good or bad. But I let it overshadow the joy, love, happiness, and beauty that I have in Christ. In my moments of solitude tonight, instead of enjoying the silence I heard "fat**.. fat**" over and over again. I let that one negative comment completely wipe away anything positive that was said earlier in the day.

I could bust out a 1 Peter 3:3-4 quote here or Proverbs 31:30 about not caring about what you look like on the outside and how our focus should be on the inside. I could - those are great verses. But, the one that comes to mind right now is one of my favorites, and has nothing to do with beauty:

"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

I had that verse written on my mirror for over a year at one point, and it's what I'm saying to myself now, as I'm trying to get it to replace the fat*** comment. I'm not the type of girl that tells herself "you're beautiful" or "you look great today" when I look in the mirror.. Just because that's not me. But I'm the type of girl that tells herself (and will respond to) "Remember Who you're serving. Remember Who matters. Remember Who loves you. Forget the rest. You're a servant of Christ."

I shouldn't be upset that I didn't get that girl's approval. I'm certain I fail to get the subconscious approval of tons of people every single day. Sometimes they vocalize it, sometimes they don't. But. Who. Cares. Their approval doesn't matter. The only approval that matters is from an audience of One.

(Please do not take away from this post that I'm looking for compliments because I need to have the rude comment erased from my brain. Not what this is about.)

It's a weird Mother's Day

2015-05-10T23:46:16Z

The only thing my mom ever wants for Mother's Day is to go to Philippe's in LA as a family for lunch. I can only think of one Mother's Day in my memory that we missed it (and that was last year). We've gone with just our family, we've gone when grandparents were in town, and we've brought along other close friends. But Sunday afternoon on Mother's Day is meant to be spent in LA.

However, it's currently Mother's Day afternoon, and my mom is sick in bed. Which means Mother's Day is staying in the 714 area code. And her youngest daughter is over 7000 miles away. It's a weird Mother's Day. We'll be celebrating another day..

On my way home this afternoon, I started thinking about my mom. And the thing that kept coming to my mind were peas. I am an extremely picky eater, and one of the things that I will not eat are peas. I remember eating chicken, mashed potatoes, and peas when I was younger, and trying to hide the peas behind my drumstick, hoping my mom would think that I already ate them (because if I didn't eat them, they would be my dessert and then breakfast and then lunch until I finally did). Everyone always tells kids that "you'll like ____ when you're older".. But not me. I still hate peas (among most other things that I hated to eat when I was younger).

There is this really good pasta salad that my entire family loves. There's nothing really special about it - it's just your basic boxed pasta with seasoning. There are also little bacon bits, carrot strings... And peas. Ugh, the peas. Whenever I decide to make the pasta on my own, I know that I've got to set up the kitchen with multiple bowls to sort out the peas from the pasta in the time it takes to boil the water. I know that when I make the pasta, it takes some extra commitment. The other night, there was a HUGE thing of the pasta in the refrigerator. I was so excited, and then I mentally prepared to eat the pasta while digging around the peas. But I opened up the tupperware.. And there wasn't a pea in sight. My mom had removed all of the peas for me.

I know it's silly, but I may have teared up. I rarely sleep at home (#housesitterproblems) and I eat at home even less frequently. But, on the off chance that I happened to open the fridge on one of the nights that I was home before the pasta had been consumed by other family members.. My mom removed all of the peas. For me. Everyone else is fine with the peas, but I'm the picky one, and my mom removed them for me.

From being on PTAs and PTOs, to helping run a non-profit childhood cancer organization, to running the nursery for years at church, to being the best band booster President someone could ask for, to helping parents handle life with a child with cancer, to organizing grad nights, to teaching people to play instruments, to helping behind the scenes at church, to planning weddings, to sewing costumes and flags, to being an ear to kids that don't get an ear at home, to caring as a teacher in ways that students don't expect.. To being a mom that has supported her children in sickness and in health, while thriving and struggling, through tears and laughter, through teenage (and twenty-something) mood swings.. She's a woman that hates to say no to helping people and doing things.

In the last year I've seen her sacrifice more of herself because of how much she loves her family. In the last year I've seen her trust God in new ways. In the last year I've seen her love people that were difficult to love. In the last year I've seen her take on new challenges. In the last year I've gained a new appreciation for all that my mom is.

I love you lots, Mom. You're the best!

P.S. I'm sorry I punched you on your birthday that one year. But this will always be one of my favorite pictures.

A Little Bit About My Dad

2014-06-15T07:26:37Z

It's Father's Day. My dad is currently 2,400 miles away in Ohio visiting his mom, step-dad, brothers, sisters, nieces, cousins, and who knows who else.. And I'm sitting here, not sleeping, sitting in bed with a snoring dog, thinking about my dad.

My dad can build. And not just like "here's a box". My dad can BUILD. Anytime we needed any sort of backdrop made for any band, guard, or drumline show, there was no doubt that my dad would be able to do it. If something breaks, my dad can fix it. Giant, moving triangle backdrops made out of mostly styrofoam? Yup! Cupcake stand? Yup! Stranded at the top of a hill in the middle of the Philippines with a car that won't start? No worries! My dad is like Bob the Builder, only way, way better because he doesn't have an annoying theme song that gets stuck in your head.

My dad talks. That might be a weird thing to say (most dads talk), but most people at first think of my dad as very quiet - which he is by default compared to the Weisenberger females. But anyone that has had any conversation with him will stop using that as their first word to describe him - it normally changes to "wise" or "smart". And while he is those things, I also think he's funny. Growing up, most of my friends were "scared" of him (just like I tended to be scared of their dads). But one time a friend came over for dinner when we had "breakfast for dinner", and my dad ended up serving the pancakes "air-born" style (chucking them across the table).. That friend thought it was hilarious and never used the word "scared" to describe my dad again. Ask my dad a question and you won't just get a "yes/no" answer.

My dad is patient. He's lived with four females (plus every dog we've had has been female) for a very long time and we are all very, very talkative. He had to deal with girls being teenagers for about thirteen years straight. He's watched us girls grow up. He's seen us make good choices. He's seen us make bad choices. And he has loved us through it all. He's heard me complain about things that are stupid and things that are important, and has never told me that he doesn't want to hear it.

My dad is never satisfied. He is never satisfied with who he is - in the best way possible. My dad wants to be more like Christ. He wants to be different than this world. He wants to soak up all that he can learn about his Creator and be who he is meant to be in Christ. He is always reading. Always. And most of the time, that reading isn't the latest pop-culture autobiography (that tends to be what's on my most recent Amazon receipt), it's a book to better himself (and not in a "self-help" kind of way). His office walls are covered in books and that doesn't include the hundreds (if not thousands) of books on his Kindle. He recently quit the job that he'd had for most of my life because it was what God was calling him to do which has given him more time to focus. Not focus on himself, but focus on Christ.. Because being satisfied with who you are with God is being content, and being content is not growing, and if you love God, you should be growing.. And my dad knows that.

And last but not least, my dad loves. He loves me. He loves Jenna. He loves Selah. He loves my mom. He (most of the time) loves Sousa (the dog). He loves the Lord. And he doesn't just love all of us, he loves us unconditionally (okay, maybe he does love the dog all the time). And I don't think love like that needs any more explanation.

There are so many people that either don't know their dad, don't like their dad, or think that their dad doesn't like them. But I'm extremely thankful this Father's Day that I know my dad, that I love my dad, and that I know that my dad loves me.

P.S. My dad also blogs. That's right, he blogs. And he blogs some good stuff. You should go visit his site.

"Do you still love me?"

2014-02-14T08:02:28Z

One of the most heartbreaking texts I've ever received started with those five words.

"Do you still love me?"

And no, this is not some sappy, relationship longing filled post.

The night before I'd received that text, I'd had an extremely deep, heart-to-heart talk with one of my best friends that involved a confession, forgiveness, lots of tears, and prayer. It also involved confirmation that I loved her very much.

Satan lied to her in her dream that night as she dreamed that I'd changed my mind about loving her. I was so mad that after a beautiful moment of forgiveness and renewal, that the father of lies had made her doubt that I loved her for even a second.

And when I think about how my heart hurt that she could doubt how much I love her (even for a second), I started thinking about how it must hurt God when we feel that same way - when we've fallen victim at times to the lie that has us questioning if God really loves us. It must break His heart that He loves us more than we could ever imagine, and yet we don't always believe it. God saying that He loves us should be more than enough for us to never doubt Him, and yet He continues to remind us time and time and time again..

And even in spite of our doubt, humanity, impatience, and sin... He still loves us.

We are commanded to love one another just as Jesus loves us (John 13:34-35) - how could my response (or anyone else's response) to that text have been anything other than "Of course I still love you! Forever and ever!"

My Valentine's Day is going to be full of thankfulness that my Savior loves me and that I get to love Him, too.

The Little Things - Rule #4

2013-05-13T06:36:07Z

Prior to about 4 years ago, elevators were just a randomly used transportation device for me. Primarily when I was at Disneyland in the parking structure, or at California Adventure (although THAT elevator isn't quite normal). However, when my office moved from the bottom floor of an office building to the fifth floor of a different building, elevators became a daily ride. Several times a day. Even more if I took the elevator in the parking structure.

Ever since this move, I have had some of the most random, bizar, and awkward conversations take place in the elevator (and trust me, I have random conversations with complete strangers all the time, but the elevator ones tend to take the cake). Ranging from "I like your hair!" to "You smell like a blue snow cone" to "Your fingernails look like M&Ms" and (one of my my personal favorites) "If this elevator gets stuck, this is the pee corner". Oh, or a recent one where two guys that I'd never met before decided they wanted to come to lunch with me (got out of that one). Elevator conversations provide some entertaining stories and Facebook statuses (stati?), but I'm here to make a rule (I've actually had conversations in the elevator about how there should be a rule book for Elevator Etiquette).

Rule #4: Do not feel obligated to make small talk in the elevator.

I really think some people feel like they have to talk in elevators, whether they're with people they know or people they don't. I've had someone try to sell me Mary Kay products in the 5 floor ride. The elevator is not a place to sell things. The elevator is a place for me to have a few moments of silence before helping people that know what "reboot" means, but do not know what "restart" means. Or it's where I'm sending one last email before heading home. I tend to be a socialable person, but most days, I like the elevator to not be one of those places.

Special Note 1: It's different when you're in the elevator with someone you know. You still don't need to feel obligated to talk, but it shouldn't be awkward "I have shoes like those!" conversations.

Special Note 2: There have been times that when walking into our downstairs lobby, I'll hide just out of sight as a door is closing just so that the person doesn't feel obligated to say "Whoops!" and hit the "Open Door" button.

Special Note 3: There's a whole other area of elevator etiquette that is just hard to figure out. When you're already in an elevator, under what circumstances are you supposed to wait for someone to get on? If they're 10 feet away, sure. But what about 20? Do you want them to feel like they have to run to get on - when you know they're going to get on and say "sorry!". So maybe you close the door if they're 30 feet away.. unless you know them? And I suppose it depends on how many elevators are available and how long it will take for the next one to come - there are 2 elevators in our parking structure and 5 in the actual building, so wait longer in the structure? Or maybe if you just avoid eye contact with the person not in yet, then you don't have to worry about it. I don't know what the rules are for this one.. Maybe I'll have to come up with one..

The Little Things - Rule #3

2013-05-01T22:00:00Z

Rule #3: Dr. Pepper is not the same as Root Beer.

My default drink of choice is a Dr. Pepper. Oftentimes, I'm at a restaurant and when I ask for a Dr. Pepper, they'll respond with "No, but we have Mr. Pibb." That's acceptable. That makes sense. There are several cross-brand sodas that are a logical substitute Sprite and 7-Up. Pepsi and Coke. Another bad "substitute" is when you ask for Sprite, and they offer Mountain Dew.

However, Dr. Pepper and Root Beer are nothing alike. Nothing. Other than the fact that they are a brown soda. But so is Pepsi. Root Beer is not an acceptable replacement for Dr. Pepper.

Don't get me wrong - I actually like Root Beer! I just don't like it when Root Beer is offered as comparable to Dr. Pepper.

Special Note 1: Actually, it is kind of entertaining that (I think) Coke and Pepsi don't actually taste that much alike, yet they are considered the "other" choice. I don't know anyone that is an "only 7-Up, no Sprite" drinker, but most people are either dedicated to either Coke or Pepsi.

Special Note 2: I don't ever drink Coke or Diet Coke at all, but I'll take Pepsi on occasion. I will randomly drink Diet Coke with No Caffeine, though. But only out of a can. And only after it's been refrigerated.

The Little Things - Rule #2

2013-05-01T06:30:11Z

Rule #2: Be aware of your surroundings before you ask for a piece of gum.

I think we've all been in that situation where we're dying for a piece of gum, and we reach into our purse (or pocket) and as we pull out some gum, and the person next to you asks "Hey, can I have a piece?". So you look at the four pieces you have left in the pack, and say "Sure!".. And then the three other people standing around you look at you with their puppy dog eyes.. So you feel obligated to ask "Does anyone else want one?" and suddenly, you're throwing away your empty pack in the trash can.

Sharing is caring. I'm all for that. But there's just something about gum.

Because of this, I've decided that if you see someone pull out a pack of gum and they don't offer any, look around before you ask for a piece. Are there other ears around that might think they need gum now, too? Is the gum owner now going to be down more than just two pieces of gum because you asked?

If the gum owner asks "Does anyone want a piece?" first, then it's safe to assume that they've figured out the gum to people ratio, and they know they have enough to share. But if they're asking everyone only after someone else has wiggled their way into their gum consumption, then politely decline - there's a decent chance it's out of obligation.

Special Note 1: Maybe it's just me, but I know that when I use up a pack of gum, I'll forget I've used it up and won't restock. So because I've distributed the last of my gum sticks unexpectedly, I'll be gum-less until I set my Reminders on my iPhone to remind me the next time I'm at Walgreens or Albertson's.

Special Note 2: One way to guarantee that I won't ask you for gum is to bust out some green gum. I don't care what flavor it is, you can keep that green gum all to yourself.

Special Note 3: One of my best friends growing up used to ask for gum every single day. Every day, without fail after band (because you never chew gum during band unless you know that you can chew to time with whatever song you're playing.. And also, it just might mess up your embouchure). It became a tradition of sorts. I also added onto that tradition by giving him a huge pack of gum (like, a box with 16 packs of gum in it) for his birthday and Christmas. He'd still always ask me for gum, but there'd be those random days where he'd remember that I'd provided him with own gum, and he'd reach into his backpack and pull out his own piece - and even offer me one. Gum does always seem to taste better when it comes from someone else though, huh?

And that is rule 2!

The Little Things - Rule #1

2013-04-30T06:20:31Z

If I did New Year's Resolutions, I probably would have made a resolution to blog more. Well, I'm glad I didn't make that resolution, so I don't have to feel bad about just getting around to it now.

My friend Rebekah and I were talking about a status I'd written on Facebook a few weeks ago about nicknames (keep reading), and decided that we should write a book on "the little things". As in "the things that everyone should know, but no one's made the official rule about" - if that doesn't make any sense.. Keep reading! So instead of a book or the notepad on my desk at work, I'm going to blog the rules. They may be silly rules. And they may be dumb. But I want to write them down. :)

Rule #1: Nicknames: Wait until you're friends with someone before calling them a nickname.

"What's the appropriate amount of time for someone to know you in order for them to start calling you a nickname (i.e. "Kels")? I understand a quick transition from Nicholas to Nick (especially if they introduce themself as the latter).. But I feel like being able to call a Kelsey a Kels (or Bethany a Beth or Elizabeth a Lizzy) has to come later, and almost be earned."

This status was inspired by someone that had not known me very long at all. And from the get-go, they called me "Kels".

I really don't mind people calling me "Kels" - I LOVE nicknames, terms of endearment (the most commonly used one these days is "kdub"), but there's just something that rubs me the wrong way when I introduce myself as "Kelsey", and the next day I'm "Kels", with no other conversations in between.

I'm not actually looking for a specific "4 months" timeline, but I think there needs to be a growth in the friendship to be able to use a nickname. Not a set amount of growth, just something. If no growth, you should at least have their phone number. Heck, or maybe even just take that leap and be friends on Facebook (because, ya know, Facebook friendship means official friends) (please recognize the sarcasm in that). Just something that says "I know more than your name".. Because if all you know is my name, and you decide to shorten or personalize it (the ONE thing you know about me).. That's just odd.

Special Note 1: Rebekah brought up a very good point: If you are not good enough friends with someone to be able to tell them that you don't like the nickname they've chosen for you, then you're really not good enough of friends for them to be able to call you a nickname at all. Unfortunately, since you're not good enough friends to be able to tell them you don't like the nickname, you're also probably not good enough friends to be able to hold that conversation with them without it being extremely awkward. Or maybe that's the first step to helping the friendship grow? I'm not sure.

Special Note 2: My mom commented on my status that she has a hard time stopping herself from calling other people named Kelsey "Kel" since that's what she's always called me and it's just habit. Rebekah even mentioned that she hates being called "Bekah", but she's okay with Selah and I calling her that only because she knows it's out of habit because we have a plethora of Rebecca/Rebekah's in our lives that shorten their names to Becca/Bekah. Ironically enough, Rebekah goes by "Becky", but I have a hard time calling her that because several of the other Rebecca/Rebekah's in my life hate being calling that. This is something though that I think we should have the courtesy of caveating when we catch ourselves calling someone be a nickname prematurely (or incorrectly) - "Sorry, it's habit because..... I'll work on it!"

Special Note 3: I will not spell a nickname different than how their official name is spelled (example, Rebekah would never be Becca). The only person that I let call me "Kelz" is my friend Catie, because she's always called me that and it's just her name for me. But if someone else were to bust that out, I'd shut it down. For some reason, the shortening of Jenna will always be Jen, yet Jennifer with always be Jenn for me. Stephanie will always be Steph, not Stef. Also, Selah is always shortened by be to Sel (pronounced "say"). I just can't bring myself to spell it "Sey".

And that's rule number 1!

On the next Arrested Development..

2012-09-10T01:23:00Z

Sometimes, awesomeness needs to be documented.

I really wish I were better at blogging, but I hate blogging about stuff that I feel is too insignificant - that's what Facebook statuses are for :)

However, every now and then, I think "I should blog about this", and then I decide halfway through writing it that no one will read it or care, so I have a dozen or so half written blogs saved in Notepad files all over the desktop of my laptop (some of those are entitled "Music", "Perspective", "Blergh", and "Crap" - clearly I need to get better at labeling these things).

But this.. This, I feel is worth blogging about. If not for other people to enjoy, then at least for (Kimmie and) me to remember the awesomeness that transpired until the day we die.

Because this morning, we were on the set of Arrested Development.

WARNING: THERE ARE SOME SPOILERS. BUT, THEY ARE CLEARLY MARKED!

If you're asking yourself what Arrested Development is, then please leave. Now. Okay, just kidding. Just know that Arrested Development is one of the greatest shows. Ever. (I'll explain a little more about it later as I explain how the evening/morning unfolded.. Or, actually, you can always just go read the IMDB or Wikipedia entries on it)

It was about 11:30, and I got a Facebook message from my dear friend, Kimmie - whom I had just left about an hour before from a girls night with some other friends. All the message said was "Kelsey... i may have just found the current arrested development set...." After several exclamation marks, TALKING IN ALL CAPS, and Kimmie doing some awesome super sleuthing.. She asked me "are you feeling crazy?" to which I responded with "always!".. And a quick hair blow dry, three outfits, and 15 minutes later, we were on our way!

Now, how did we know where to go? Let me just tell you that Kimmie is amazing at figuring this stuff out. We're both pretty good at finding our way around the internet, but last night.. She won. And I am perfectly okay with that. When Kimmie got home, she saw that her friend, Luke (more on him later) posted "They are filming Arrested Development down the street from where I live. I am there. It is amazing." on Facebook. Kimmie knew he lived in Long Beach. She then did a quick search on Google for "Arrested Development filming Long Beach" and got to a site that said "Arrested Development is filming at the Aquarium in Long Beach on Saturday". Also, a hashtag search on Twitter for ArrestedDevelopment lead us to another guy that was on the set and posted a picture of Jason Bateman about 5 minutes earlier. So we knew it was happening. Right then.

When we got off the freeway in Long Beach, the next question was "Okay, where exactly by the aquarium are they filming?". This question was almost immediately answered by the giant, bright light right in front of us. We parked the car and ran to the light (I know in movies they always try to run away from the bright light, as that tends to mean death.. But if I were to run into Michael Cera or Jason Bateman on my way to death.. I'm okay with that).

We walked into the round-about by the Long Beach pier, and saw video equipment, a catering cart thing, and some white vans with tinted windows pulling away - so it was safe to assume that they were either filming Arrested Development, or some kidnappers had some high quality ransom videos being made.

It was now 12:30AM, and when we walked up to the pier, there were lights everywhere and tons of props (**SPOILER** there were carnival booths, Mexican flags, and pinatas everywhere! **END SPOILER**). We walked up to the caution taped area, and met a Security Guard - his name was Darryl. Darryl asked us what we were doing there, and Kimmie and I then proceeded to overwhelm him with Arrested Development plots, characters, and opinions, and explained how amazing it was that this show was canceled after three seasons, and now 6 years later they're filming a 4th season AND a movie (personally, I think sixseasonsandamovie is a better catchphrase, but that's for another awesome show in another post). He stood there with his eyes wide. After we finished, we asked him if he'd want to watch the show. Didn't quite get the response we were hoping for (we got an "eh") - Mental Note: Must reign in the fan-girly-ness around non-fans. It was while we were talking, that I spotted the top of the Stair Car behind his head. I pointed at it and said "Oh my gosh, that's the Stair Car". He looked at me like I was crazy, and I then proceeded to explain that the family was really rich, and then lost all their money and lost basically everything - including their airplane, but they got to keep the Stair Car. He then took a few steps backed and peeked around the corner, and seemed a little surprised that yes, I in fact was telling the truth that it was a Stair Car, and I really did recognize it just by the top. At that point Kimmie and I **SPOILER** realized that the top of the Stair Car didn't say "Bluth Company" anymore, but it said "Austero Bluth Company" (photo by Luke) on it - Yes! As in Lucille 2's last name! **END SPOILER** tried to get a good picture of it, but we were too far away, and our (clearly not as close as I thought we were) friend Darryl wouldn't risk his job to get the picture for us. Psh.

At some point during our geeking out over being on the set, Darryl explained that the cast was on a lunch break (yes, at 12:30AM), and that they'll be back in about a half hour. So Kimmie and I decided to see if we could get a better view on the other side of where we were at.

We walked around, and walked right past Mitch Hurwitz talking with some other people (Mitch Hurwitz is the brains behind Arrested Development). I tried to take some pictures while "staying cool" and walking.. But that was a fail. We kept walking and ended up a lot closer to where the (picture might be a **SPOILER**) actual filming was going to resume. Oh. Excitement.

We walked back to where we saw Mr. Hurwitz, and Kimmie spotted Luke (who we first found out about this from - because of his Facebook), and we started talking to him. Conveniently, he was hanging out by his bike, which was about.. 15 feet from Mr. Hurtwitz (who was holding a ukelele or mandolin, which made Kimmie quite excited). Oh, and what? A closer look - he's also standing by Jeffrey Tambor (aka George Bluth)!!!!! I tried to take a few more pictures.. And was depressed by the outcome. Stood there talking to Luke, and he gave us the low down - he'd been there for FOUR HOURS already, and had only seem them film one scene **SPOILER** and it involved Lindsay and Lucille 2 giving speeches of some sort from the top of the Stair Car and throwing candy to the people down below.. And then Michael falling down the stairs of the Stair Car **END SPOILER**. He told us who was on set that he'd seen (obviously Jeffrey Tambor, but also Jason Bateman (Michael Bluth), Portia de Rossi (Linsday Bluth Funke), and Liza Minnelli (Lucille 2/Austero)), and that it looked like Michael Cera (George Michael Bluth), David Cross (Tobias Funke), Alia Shawkat (Maebe Funke), Jessica Walter (Lucille Bluth), and Tony Hale (Buster Bluth) weren't filming tonight. We then saw Mr. Hurwitz and Mr. Tambor head back over to the set, so we followed - from a safe, noncreepy distance.

Got over to (possible **SPOILER** in photo) where they were filming and stood there behind the caution tape. At one point, the caution tape broke, and Kimmie had to tie it back together - she can officially say that she was a part in helping keep back the masses (and by masses, I mean her, Luke, me, and the other random couples and people that would show up throughout the early morning). We started seeing a bunch of extras walk over. All in very 90's/Arrested Development type clothing - many sweater vests and business clothes (almost like workers from the Bluth offices). **SPOILER** Most of them were also wearing sombreros. **END SPOILER**

While we were standing behind the caution tape, this guy walked past and told us that he's "in charge of the truck". I assumed he met a food truck or trailer.. Learned that when he said "truck", he meant "Stair Car".. His job is strictly to take care of the Stair Car. Love it.

We saw Jason Bateman's stunt double way before we saw him. Then we saw Liza Minnelli climbing the Stair Car. I decided that she is beautiful - even smoking a cigarette. We watched them do one take of Jason Bateman's stunt double **SPOILER** doing the chicken dance and then falling down the stairs of the Stair Car **END SPOILER**.. And when he was done, he left the set walking right under the caution tape (that Kimmie fixed), and I told him "Nice fall!" and he said "Thanks!".

Then Jason Bateman got up there and gave a speech **SPOILER** where he repeatedly said "Sally" (as in Sally Sitwell!?!?) **END SPOILER**. They did quite a few takes of this, and while he was up there, Luke spotted Tony Hale - not doing a scene, but standing with the crew. And then someone said something about doing the next scene over on the pier, and we heard them say "Portia".. And they started moving everyone around.

At this point, Jason Bateman came up to the level where we were standing (there were a few different ground levels over there, and we were up a few steps from where the shots were taking place) and was about 15 feet in front of us. I snapped a picture real quick, and the PA standing by us (who had already warned me once about taking pictures) said "hey friend, I saw that.." and I apologized and said that I just couldn't help myself... I then gave Kimmie my phone to hold, since apparently I have no self control.

After standing around for a little bit longer, we decided to head over by the pier to where they'd be shooting the next scene (which is where we met Darryl earlier in the night/morning). On our way over there, we walked passed a guy in a red shirt and baseball hat, and I didn't think anything of it, until about two seconds later, Luke said "That's Tony Hale!". Kimmie and I turned around, and sure enough - Buster! A few other people were around us, and they ran after him and asked for a picture. He did (it's about 1:50AM at this point). He started walking toward the white van, and I was torn between getting a picture of Tony Hale, and letting him go. I let out a little "Mister Hale??" but he was far away at this point, and snuck into the van and was on his way.

Slightly disappointed, we turned around to keep walking towards the pier, when Luke again said something amazing, "It's Jason Bateman!".. And sure enough, walking right towards us was Jason Bateman! Kimmie and I mumbled back and forth "Should we ask?" "Let's ask.." "Luke, you ask for us!" "Okay.. Let's ask.".. And in unison we were like "Mr. Bateman.. May we get a picture?" And he said sure! He was walking with another guy, who took my phone to take a picture of us. And I know this might not mean as much to anyone else as it does to Kimmie and me, but I was so touched by the fact that the guy took a picture of us, looked at it, noticed that the lighting was all funky, so he repositioned us so that there were no shadows, and he took another one (even though we would have been BEYOND happy with just the first one)! We told Mr. Bateman that we thought he was amazing and thanked him.. And then felt bad because other people saw that he took pictures with us, so they wanted them, too.. And he took them - but you just know he was tired - it was 2 in the morning!

Kimmie and I walked away with that feeling of "Yep. I could die happy right now." It was amazing.

After that, we hung out for another half hour waiting for them to start filming again. There was a sign **SPOILER** that says "Cinco de Quatro" **END SPOILER** hanging over the pier. I have no idea what it means in regards to the episode, but I am so excited. At 2:30, all I could think was "I have to teach Sunday School in almost 7 hours"... So we headed to the car.

BUT, on the way to the car, there was a group of very happy, very intoxicated people that thought that Luke was famous, and asked to take pictures with him. It was so funny. Luke kept saying "Why are we taking pictures?" and they were like "Hahah - you're funny!".. hahaha Maybe they thought he looked like David Cross.. Not sure. But it was funny.

Finally got home around 3AM.

Best. Late. Night. Spontaneous. Adventure. Ever.

Movies that are based on books..

2012-03-26T04:47:00Z

I am a huge fan of books.

I am a huge fan of movies.

I am a huge fan of movies that come from books.

And, I am a huge fan of midnight showings.

Over the last few years, I've learned that there are different types of people that view these movies that are based on books (from now on referred to as MTABOB).

The first person, is the person that wants the movie to be EXACTLY like the book. They want every giggle on paper to have its appearance on screen. They want the dress to be the exact same shade of mauve that they imagined while they were reading to appear on the girl. And, heaven forbid, a character is omitted from the silver screen.

The second person is someone who has read the book and is just looking for the movie to tell the story. Get the characters and plot there. Help them visualize the things that are happening. And if a few not-so-important details are left out or are changed to help it be conveyed better on screen... No big deal.

The third person has never read the book. So they really don't care how it compares. They just want to see a movie. People tend to fall into this category without even realizing it (A Walk to Remember, Friday Night Lights, The Princess Diaries, Harry Potter.. Wait, you probably knew that last one). I try not to fall into this category. If I know that a movie is based on a book, I'll almost always read the book first.

I'm the second person. And because of that... I've found that I enjoy these MTABOB way more than some of my friends. I love MTABOB because...

1) I have little to no imagination. Okay, that might be an exaggeration.. But when I'm reading books, I've learned that the characters end up having the faces of my friends. When I read the first Harry Potter book, Hermione looked like Michelle (even though Michelle doesn't have crazy hair), Harry was Harrison (even though Harrison's half Japanese), and Ron looked like Alex (Alex's only resemblance is that has red-ish hair). I never read the books with the characters having British accents until the movies came out! As soon as they assign an actor to play a specific character, I have an image and a voice to go with it. I love it.

2) It clarifies things. I was watching Hunger Games the other night (**not a spoiler**), and this "cornucopia" plays a part in the "games". While I was reading the books, I was visualizing this Thanksgiving table sized cornucopia on a raised platform (which made the fighting scenes a little confusing in my head). After seeing the movie, I realized that it was way, way, wayyyyy bigger than I had thought.

I'm okay with random characters or certain things not making an appearance in the movie. For example, in the Harry Potter movies, I know some people didn't like that the Dumbledore's Army Galleon didn't make an appearance. It played a part in the books, but they found a way around it in the movies, because it really didn't matter.

I just understand that the studios only have so much time and budget, that certain things need to be cut. There was one thing that I specifically remember being different in the Hunger Games. But I realized that by adjusting how something happened, they got rid of a not so significant character.. So they saved money on an actress and were probably able to spend that money on something more important to the storyline.

Plus.. Everyone's interpretation is so different. You know how I mentioned the mauve dress earlier? If you go to Google and look at the Google Images for mauve, you'll see how not everyone agrees on what mauve is. And that's ONE word. One color. A book has thousands upon thousands of words.. How is everyone supposed to visualize it the same way? Give the studios a break.

I'm not saying I always love every single MTABOB. Sometimes, the storyline of the movie is awful compared to the book. At that point, I try and look at the movie from the third person perspective. Was I able to understand the story? If I had never read the book, would I have liked it?

The first movie that comes to my mind that was an awful, awful adaptation isn't a MTABOB.. It's a movie based on a TV show (which may be based on Anime?). Avatar: The Last Airbender. Oh my goodness. That sad, sad, M. Night Shyamalan movie was.. I have no idea what I watched. A little guy with tattoos of arrows and people could control the different elements? I tried to enjoy it and follow. I really did. But holy cow.

I'm a huge fan of MTABOB. And I'm sure you'll enjoy them a little more, too, if you just adjust your perspective. And yes, because this is my blog.. I'm going to say that my perspective is the right perspective :)

We welcome you to Munchkin Land.. #5

2012-01-16T08:01:44Z

These might only be funny to Jenna and I, cuz we were in the room.. But I'm still documenting it.. :)

Today, I brought donut holes for the kids..

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They started not pay attention so..

Me: Remember, we have a special treat at the end if you listen! You'll get a donut!

Munchkin: I don't want a donut. I'll get fat.

A kindergartner!

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Later on, the munchkin who didn't want to eat the donut decided to eat one.. The other kids noticed that he was no eating..

Munchkin 2: Remember when he said he might get fat?

Munchkin: It's not funny. It's serious.

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In the middle of memorizing a Bible verse, I look and see that the same kiddo from earlier had found a piece of tape on the carpet and put it on his nose..

Me: can you take that off?

Munchkin: I'm an elephant.

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While coloring..

Munchkin: I'm spelling "good"... And a y is coming after the o's.

Cancer sucks. God rocks.

2012-01-09T10:22:00Z

Growing up in my house, we were allowed to say that two things "sucked".

Vacuums.

And cancer.

TV shows didn't suck. Dinner didn't suck. Even traffic didn't suck.

But vacuums and cancer. They sucked.

21 years ago yesterday, our family learned to trust God in a whole new way.

21 years ago yesterday, could have been the beginning of the end of me having an older sister.

21 years ago yesterday, was our family's introduction to the world of childhood cancer.

21 years ago yesterday, my older sister, Selah, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

Yes, you may be looking at "21 years ago" and realize that I'm only almost 23.. So at 2, I didn't have much of any comprehension of the craziness that our lives were going through at the time.. But cancer isn't something that you just go through for a time of your life, and then move on. I mean, Jenna wasn't even born until 2 years later, and even she has stories. Cancer lingers.

Back in November, one of my favorite people had a journalism assignment, and she decided to interview my mom, as a "mother of a child with cancer".

I've heard my mom tell the story of Selah's diagnosis a million times.. But hearing her tell the story from start to the present was really cool. And then I got to chime in with some of my memories, and Jenna came home halfway through the "interview" and got to throw in some things, too.

Here's just some of the random, "stream of consciousness style" thoughts that have been going through my mind this evening..

- Cancer's different when you have faith. Actually, everything's different when you have faith. And not just faith, but what.. WHO you have faith in. But because of our faith in Christ, our "cancer experience" was different than those families going through it with the sole reliance on doctors and each other.

- When Selah was diagnosed, our church family enveloped us with prayer. And love. And just anything we needed. I was two years old and couldn't camp out in a hospital all day and night with my parents, so I was immediately taken care of by some of my adoptive "aunts" and "uncles". Some siblings end up being excluded because all of the focus turns to the patient, and by the time the patient has pulled through their battle.. The siblings are off the deep end and it's a whole different battle. Luckily.. 1 - I was two, so there wasn't much of a deep end for me to fall off of.. 2 - Even if I were older, I know that my parents, with the help of our church family and awesome neighbors, wouldn't have let that happen.

- The specific memories that Jenna and I have all of this tends to relate to two specific organizations: OCF-OCF and Camp Ronald McDonald.

- OCF-OCF (most commonly referred to as just OCF) is a group that was started by some parents that had children with cancer that wanted to be able to go to camp. So the parents started it in 1982, and it's still running to this day. Our family was really, really involved with this group for a long time. Once us kids hit high school, it was harder to stay involved because of band, drumline, and winterguard, but OCF still holds a special spot in our hearts. Because of OCF, our entire family got to camp twice a year. We were all in cabins with other kids our age, and it was a mixture of patients and siblings of kids with cancer. It was a special place where everyone could get away from the hospitals and the problems down the hill, and just be kids. The parents got to bond with other parents that were going through or had been through what they're going through. We played silly games, sang typical camp songs, ate horrible food, made arts and crafts, had camp fires, dances, and laughed way, way too much. OCF had events other than Summer and Winter camp.. Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, Christmas Party, Ranch Day, Teen Camp..

- Camp Ronald McDonald was also an opportunity to go to camp another two times a year (for just the kids, once we reached a certain age). The camp sessions were a little different.. Selah's sessions were just with other patients. My sessions were just with siblings of patients.. Which could get very, very emotional. Because not everyone's patient sibling had survived their battle with cancer. But we also had fun. Horseback riding, ropes course, camping in Tee-pees, archery, radio show..

-- I remember when my class at school got to go to Outdoor Ed in 6th grade, for some of my friends, it was the first time they'd spent a night away from their family. By the time I was in 6th grade, I had been going to Camp Ronald McDonald twice a year, on my own for like, 5 years.. Outdoor Ed was nothing.

- If you go through our closets at home, you will find shirt after shirt, sweatshirt after sweatshirt from OCF and CRMD from all the different sessions that we went to. As we got older, they definitely became sleep shirts/paint shirts..

- I have friends that are now in their 20's that are lucky to have never been to a funeral yet. Because of how badly cancer sucks, funerals and death are a part of life when you're involved in organizations like that.

- Selah was granted a wish from the Make-A-Wish Foundation back in November of 1991, so the 4 of us (Jenna wasn't born until that next March) got to go on the "Big Red Boat" (the Disney Cruise) and then go to Disney World and Epcot. Jenna will proudly tell you that she swam with dolphins before any of us, because my mom swam with the dolphins at 5 months pregnant :)

- We met some amazing families by being involved in these different groups. Families that we were able to rejoice with in the remissions, and pray with through the relapses. We would spend countless hours with these people, outside of "events".

- I mentioned our awesome neighbors earlier (and actually, I blogged about them awhile back because they're crazy, ridiculously talented and amazing).. Let me explain that. So, three doors down are our neighbors. And while Selah was going through treatment, their awesome mom committed to keeping the kids (Matt and Becca) healthy so that Selah and I always had friends to play with (including adventures to Disneyland).

- When Selah was in remission for 5 years, we had a "Selah-bration". A huge party at our church Selah-brating what God had done. Because when you look at her diagnosis, and you talk to the doctors.. She's here because of One Person. God's hand was in it all.

- Disneyland is loved by Selah, Jenna, my mom and I. We all spend a lot of time there. While Selah was going through treatment, we also spent a lot of time there. Why? Because no parent wants to bring a sick, snotty nosed kid to Disneyland. So for Selah and her weakened immune system.. That's where we got to play.

- On the anniversary of Selah's diagnosis, my mom used to take her back to Kaiser (my family LOVES Kaiser) to visit her Doctor (Dr. Ruki) and the nurses and Selah would walk in carrying balloons.. One for every year since then and then she'd hand them out to the kiddos in the clinic. However, walking in with that many balloons would make Selah float away.. So now Selah goes in with a tank of helium and empty balloons.. Then fills them out there to give to the kiddos. When Selah walks in, Dr. Ruki and the nurses get so excited. She's a reminder that kids can get through it. And she's a breath of fresh air for the parents sitting there, watching their kids going through treatment in the blue leather chairs, and then turning around and seeing someone who was once one of those kids.

There's way more I could say. There's way, way more that my mom could say.

But I'll close with this..

I'm so thankful for my shorter, older sister. I can't imagine the last 21 years of my life if God hadn't healed her.

Cancer sucks. But God's bigger than that. Way, way bigger than that.

Cancer sucks. God rocks.

We welcome you to Munchkin Land.. #4

2012-01-05T06:01:27Z

Some adorable quotes from the munchkins at AWANA tonight..

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Earlier, this munchkin had said that he didn't need to listen to me, and that I told him that I could probably scare him into listening.. Later on..

Munchkin: You know, you don't scare me

Me: I don't? I bet I could..

Munchkin: No, you're too sweet.

Precious.

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Whenever we're transitioning from one game to the next, the kids ALL want to play dodgeball, so they start yelling and chanting "Dodgeball! Dodgeball!". When the dodgeball ball came out, and they starting yelling in excitement,

Munchkin: *Points to house on the other side of the wall* It would stink to be that house.

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One munchkin didn't want to play the steal the bacon game, because he was "horrible" at it. After he made two really good plays...

Me: 2012 is gonna be your year!

Munchkin 1: No it's not.

Munchkin 2: My sister got married on 11/11.

Munchkin 1: Oh no!

Me: Why is that a bad thing?

Munchkin 1: How is it a good?!

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There was absolutely no context for this quote..

Munchkin: I'm basically awesome and I'm basically honest. Mostly awesome.

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Munchkin: 1 Thessalonians 5:17, pray without sneezing.

Some details are important..

2011-12-07T18:06:57Z

*When calling 911 just now, I wasn't as clear as I should have been..*

Me: Hi, you might already know this, but there's a Road Closed sign on the 405 freeway.

Dispatcher: M'am, there's nothing I can do about opening the road.

Me: But people are swerving and slamming on their brakes to avoid it, it needs moved.

Dispatcher: If the road's closed, the sign needs to remain.

Me: Oh. I mean there's a Road Closed sign lying in the middle of an open lane on the freeway.

Dispatcher: Now that's something we can help with!
*****
Sent from my Blackberry :)

We welcome you to Munchkin Land.. #3

2011-11-03T04:55:47Z

So tonight at AWANA, we had some missionaries from Germany talking to the kids...

Missionary: What continent do we live on?

Munchkin: Irvine!

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Showing a picture of their infant son

Missionary: This is our baby.

Munchkin: What's a baby?

Missionary: Uh, who's your mom?... We'll cover that on our next visit.

------

Showing a picture of the skyline of Koln, Germany..

Missionary: What's this a picture of?

Munchkin: Seattle!

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Looking at the same picture, the missionary points right off screen to where "more city is"..

Missionary: And right here is where we live!

Munchkin: On the wall?!

------

On Sunday, one of the kids was trying to read the memory verse on the white board, and Jenna and I were helping him sound out the words..

Jenna: What does this word say? *pointing to "right"*

Munchkin: R-I-G-H-T.. Trust!

We welcome you to Munchkin Land.. #2

2011-10-27T08:57:49Z

Before I head to bed.. I have three new adorable quotes to add from the munchkins this evening at AWANA..

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Since it's the Wednesday before Halloween, it was "Pumpkin Pandemonium".. The kiddos all brought pumpkins and we played games with pumpkins on the game square. When the first game was played with pumpkins, two of the kids turned and looked at me and said..

Munchkin: I hope we aren't using pumpkins for dodgeball, too!

------

During council time..

Teacher: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, they are a new... what?

Munchkin: Pumpkin!

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The same munchkin from last week who was telling me how he listens to KISS..

Munchkin: I like the new song from Pitbull called Bon, Bon!

(I looked up the lyrics.. It's a song in Spanish? And the English version is not appropriate..)

------

Praying at the end of the night..

Munchkin: Dear Lord, please let us be proud of our pumpkins!

A short detox..

2011-10-21T05:36:00Z

On Saturday, I deactivated my Facebook.

Now, to those of you that have never gone through the process, let's just say that Facebook really, really, REALLY doesn't like the idea of you leaving.

First.. There's no "delete" button. But if you go into Account Settings then choose Security, you'll see something like "Deactivate account".

Once you find the deactivate (notice that it is not delete) and click it, it takes you to a page where they want to know why you're leaving.

Now, the best part isn't that it asks you why (more on that in a second), the part that made me laugh is that at the top of the page, it shows you pictures of 4 of your friends (for me, it happened to be the four people that I interact with the most), with the blurb "So-and-so will miss you.. Send them a message!" under each of them.

Below the pictures of your bffs that will miss you, because they're only you're digital bffs, and you'll never see them in person (please pick up on the sarcastic tone in that statement).. It lists like, ten reasons in the "why are you leaving?" section.

Of course, they don't want you to just say why. When you click one of their reasons, they then try and convince you to stay! When you select the reason, a little pop up appears to defend and help!

- "I don't feel like my information is private enough."

- Did you know that you can control your privacy settings? Click here and we'll show you how!

- "I spend too much time on Facebook."

- Did you know that you can control how often Facebook emails you notifications? This will help you not jump on Facebook every time you get an email about it.

And there were tons more. It cracked me up that they really didn't want you to leave!

And.. Even after all that.. They tell you that "you can log back in at any time and your account will reactivate, and it will be like you never left!".

I've read online that apparently if you don't log in for 14 days, then your account is deleted.. But, that's in contradiction to what Facebook says.. So I don't know what the deal is there.

Now.. Why did I decide a detox was necessary? There's a plethora of reasons..

- I am on it all the time. I'm on it on my laptop, my phone, my iPod.. And honestly, I didn't really notice how often I'm on it on my phone until I deactivated my account. It's the default thing I look at on my phone (while I'm walking, while I'm on the phone at work, and, if I'm honest, while I'm driving), so I kept picking up my phone and going to the browser, and realizing "Wait a minute..". It was really weird to realize.

- I don't like being known for being on Facebook all the time. I don't mind people knowing things about me because they read my statuses or see my pictures - that's why I post them anyways, right? But I had someone make the comment that they "always know exactly what's running through my mind" because of it. And I can tell you that that is not true - I am very, very aware of everything I post, and I keep most stuff to myself. But I didn't like that they thought I posted so much that they knew everything.

- I get so frustrated when people post stuff about drinking, or relationship drama, or when they cuss every other word. I don't like that the things that my friends post are changing my view of them, just because they hide behind the keyboard and are totally different than who they are in real life.

- I've LOVED being surprised by things this week. I have no idea what's going on in the lives of people, unless they or I have specifically reached out to them (ah, this is what life was like before!).. Today, I was working in a small room in San Diego all day pretty much by myself.. And it wasn't until I was on my way home that I realized "hah, if there had been an earthquake in Orange County today, I would have absolutely no clue" or "If a celebrity died, I'd be the last to know!". It was a cool feeling.

There's more reasons, but that's three of them.

Anyways. Yes, I'll be back on Facebook. If for no other reason than to keep randomly posting picture from Friends, Community, and Big Bang Theory to introduce the Facebook people to the beauty of Tumblr..

I found the below photo earlier.. I think it's pretty insane..

I'm totally not against Facebook. I just needed to pull back for a few days. Maybe some people have enough self control to just "not log on".. But I know myself, and this was the way to do it! :)

We welcome you to Munchkin Land..

2011-10-20T07:31:00Z

I teach munchkins at church twice a week now (1st graders on Wednesday and Kindergarten on Sunday).. And they're so adorable.. So I shall share some of their cute/silly/honest moments as they happen. Here's all the things since the beginning though..

------

1st grade boy while saying his Bible verses..

Munchkin: Do you listen to KIIS FM?

Me: Sometimes. Do you?

Munchkin: All the time!

Me: Do you have a favorite song?

Munchkin: "If you're sexy and you know it"

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Same kid.. We play games on a "game square" with them, and as the leader, I have to decide who plays when, and when it's a relay, I have to decide who goes 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.. And while I was deciding..

Munchkin: If you don't pick me, I'm gonna show you my belly button!

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I was trying to explain how it's impossible to understand how big and awesome God is...

Munchkin: I know what's bigger than the whole world! A baby turtle!

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Jenna was holding up a sea shell and it was supposed to be something "beautiful" to show how we should be like without sin..

Jenna: What does this sea shell look like?

Munchkin: A porcupine's quill!

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Jenna teaches the Kindergarteners with me on Sunday mornings, and on the first week I was explaining that Jenna was my sister..

Munchkin: I have two sisters! They're both girls!

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There's absolutely no context. The munchkins are quite random sometimes.

Munchkin: I didn't know C**** was a boy!

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On the playground..

Munchkin: I told E****** he was cute, and he said "No, I'm not!"

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One of the kids was reciting Matthew 22:37 ("Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'")

Munchkin: Love teh Lord your God with all your heart, with all your sin..

Me: Eh, not quite..

------

The Wednesday night group is AWANA, and I help with the "SPARKS". In "SPARKS", each letter stands for something (S is for Saved, P is for Power, A is for According to the Scriptures, R is for Rose Again, K is for Keeps, S is for Savior.. Or something like that).. And when they're saying certain verses, they're supposed to say what the letter stands for.

Munchkin: P is for Rose again.

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A munchkin closing us in prayer for the night..

Munchkin: Dear Jesus, thank You for this day. And please help everyone wear pants.

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Coloring pictures of Adam and Eve..

Munchkin: A**** colored his people blue!

Me: Well, that's okay. God cerated people in all different colors!

Munchkin: Like black people? Or dark brown?

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One of the kids defending my honor after a puppet tried to eat my hair..

Munchkin: I'm gonna put a hole in the back of your head for being mean to my teacher!

Choosing to trust your cabin..

2011-10-13T06:20:30Z

I was talking to a dear friend last night about some stuff that God's been doing in our lives, and it really got me thinking about how doing something out of habit verses doing something intentionally can be very different things. This can apply to anything.

Out of habit.. Every single morning, my alarm goes off, I hit the 5 minute snooze button, reach over to the side of my bed, turn on my hair straightener, sleep for another four and a half minutes, and spend ten minutes straightening my hair (yes, I am so "gifted" in straightening my hair that I can do it sitting in bed, instead of going into the restroom. No mirrors necessary to turn my bed head into what everyone's used to seeing!).

Intentionally.. Sometimes, I plan to straighten my hair, I intentionally make sure I get every single kink out. I'll even look in a mirror, spot the "bad" spots, and focus on those areas.

I always feel better about my hair on intentional days instead of habitual days.. Even if, to the non-Kelsey eye.. You can't tell the difference.

That was a pretty shallow example..

Out of habit.. I meet up with friends throughout the week to grab coffee or get food. Nothing better to do, so we go do something random.

Intentionally.. Sometimes, we plan a time to get together. Compare schedules and find a block of time that works for each of us. Catch up on life. Talk a million miles a minute. Cram weeks of life into a two hour car ride.

I'm the queen of spontaneity, so I love the improv coffee dates.. But there's something special about knowing that you're going to be seeing someone, knowing that you're both planning a time to hang out. (I have two of these dates planned for next week with two of my favorites and I can't wait!)

And just because three examples are better than two..

Out of habit.. I read my Bible before I go to bed. Some people choose to start their morning with it.. I've always been a night time devo girl.

Intentionally.. I'll wake up early sometimes. Or I'll run to Starbucks during my lunch break and just soak up some extra time reading.

There's nothing wrong with having a schedule with reading your Bible, because for some people, if we don't have a set time (and if we're honest about it) it'll get lost in the busyness of the day.. But I love, love, love the times that I intentionally plan to throw in an extra or different time to spend time in the Word. It's just different. And because I know it's not my "normal" thing, I have a different attitude about it.

I've really been thinking about trusting God. Am I trusting because I'm supposed to and because it's "just what I've always done".. Or am I trusting God because I'm choosing to trust God. There's a pretty big difference when you think about it.

It makes me think of all the times at Camp Ronald McDonald or OCF-OCF that we did the "high ropes" course or the Courage Course. Before you got to tackle the big climbs, you always ran through a bunch of trust exercises with your cabin.

Standing on a pole three feet above the ground being told "Okay, fall backwards and the eight, 12 year old girls below are going to catch you!".. Climbing to the top of the poll, you think "Psh, this will be easy. It's only three feet if they drop me. Plus, I don't really have to go through with it.". But once you're up there, and you've actually chosen to place your arms across your chest and fall backwards.. That's choosing to trust your cabin. It's a leap (or fall) of faith.

Once you've gotten safely back on the ground.. You're glad you chose to trust them. You wonder why you ever doubted them. You've had an experience that you probably would have never had if you hadn't chosen to trust them. And, if you're anything like me.. You can't wait to do it again!

I get those same exact feelings when I've intentionally chosen to trust God about something.

There's been so many times when I'm going through something, and I decide to trust in me - cuz I know best for me, right? And oh goodness, do I get taught a lesson in humility. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo of "You are stupid. God is not. Don't trust the idiot.".. Or something like that.. Just to ingrain in my head and remind me over and over and over again that I'm just a dumb human who sins and doesn't know what she's doing.. And that He does. And that's all that matters.

The default "trust verse" sums it up quite nicely: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

I don't think it really gets much clearer than that.

Must trust God. And trust Him intentionally.

By default..

2011-09-19T07:43:58Z

I love it when there are one or two lines from a sermon or Bible Study that just won't leave you alone.

Brian asked the questions"What are you an expert in besides the Bible?" and "What would your friends say that you love most?".

When it comes to the first question, I don't think I would actually call myself an expert in ANYTHING. Maybe I'm an expert talker? An expert laugher? I can't exactly put that on a resume.

But an expert in the Bible? I think that'd be a pretty awesome title to be able to give yourself. Granted, by default, I assume that in order to be an "expert" in the Bible (or anything), you probably have a few diplomas on the wall and a couple of letters after your name proving your expertise. I don't have any extra letters after my name (however, my last name has 12 letters, so I could probably stand to remove some of them and add them afterwards - maybe I'll fool everybody!), so I'm not at any official experience level.. But I like to think I've got a little bit of knowledge under my belt, and I'm always game to learn more. So while I'm not an expert in the Bible, I tend to hunger after learning more in that area of my life than in, say, computers or cooking.. If that makes sense. So my expert-ness (official word, there) is ever growing.. Hopefully exponentially, especially in comparison to other skills and areas of my life.

The second question though.. In complete honesty.. It made me nervous.

What would my friends say? I sat there thinking "Well, I think some of them would say something faith related.. But maybe some of my friends would say that my friends are what I love the most. My job. My random adventures. Disneyland. And it might depend on what my mood was like the last time I was with them. I might have been venting, so that wasn't necessarily very God-love-affirming.. I might have proclaimed my love for Chipotle during dinner.. Oh man, I hope they wouldn't answer with THAT..".

So to solve that problem, I thought "Okay, make sure to have some sort of a God-related conversation with everyone you come into contact with at least once over the next week, because you want them to know that HE is what you love, just in case they've forgotten".. You know, because that would be pleasing to God - have conversations about Him with an ulterior motive of making yourself look better!

And then I started thinking "What would I say my friends love? Do they all love God? I know these friends would want me to answer the question for them as God, but is it true? Would I be saying that because I know they want me to, or because I really think that's their strongest love? And what about my non-believing friends? What DO they love most? Their boyfriends? Their family? Their car, their job? Clothing?"

My pulse was rushing. My head was reeling. (My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Fervent as a flame... Wicked, anyone? :-P)

Honestly though, my mind was going a million miles a minute trying to figure out what the answer to that question would be.

It was hard. Because even as I was thinking about what my friends would say I love the most.. I started thinking "What would I say I love the most?". I know what the answer should be. What the answer NEEDS to be. But, if I'm completely honest, there are times when other things take priority. There are times when my love for Christ is still there, but things like my love for socializing or relaxing take on a higher priority.

It was either John Piper or CJ Mahaney that made the statement that God shouldn't be "riding in the trunk of your car, waiting for you to need Him like you need a spare tire.. He should be riding with you, IN THE CAR, the whole time." I'd even go as far as to say that He should be driving, not just riding shotgun (Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" comes to mind..).

He shouldn't ever be "just there".. He should be THERE. My response should come as a default reaction - not because I respond that way out of habit, or obligation, but because by default, it's true.

We always joke at church that "Jesus" is the answer to EVERYTHING (and, as discussed today, whenever you're asked "where in the Bible does it say.. *fill in the blank*", if you answer with "Romans", you're probably right).

Jesus needs to be my answer to that question. Not because it's expected, not because it's what we want to hear.. But because it's true.

For the very first time ever..

2011-09-10T20:58:00Z

I defriended somebody on Facebook.

People say things all the time that drive me crazy.

They post about how often they drink.

They post about how mad they are at someone and give information that we don't need.

They constantly post about how much they love the boyfriend they've been with for a week.

They cuss more than they use normal, civilized vocabulary.

When people drive me crazy, I use the lovely little "hide" button.

But this time, I just decided to delete the person. This isn't the first time that they've posted something that bothered me. And honestly, if we were "real" friends, and not just friends online because we once knew each other.. Then I probably would've stuck to hiding (or at least explained it to the person before deleting).

But I haven't talked to this person in.. Gosh.. 4 years? I don't think it's going to cause any problems. There should be no awkward fall out because of it. Unless this person secretly stalks my Facebook and realized that they no longer have access to view me..

This deletion is not because of their lack of faith in God.

It is not because of their sexuality.

It is not because of their partying habits.

I have a problem when you call my Savior what you called Him.

And the things posted below.

And I even read the article.

And it made my blood boil.

Quoting Luke 14:26 (If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple) as an example of Jesus telling His disciples to join in a gay lifestyle?

And of course, an article like this alludes to the David and Jonathan "relationship".

And even to Paul "being gay".

This is not me bashing homosexuals or passing judgement.

This is me having a problem with lies of Jesus being shared.

And lies about the Bible.

Context, personality, and an understanding of the culture in which the Bible was originally written is important to understand when trying to find inaccuracies in the Bible.

Or trying to change Truth.

Or trying to make the Bible fit your choices, instead of changing your life to being a believer.

The Bible doesn't change. You can, though.

A woman of what?

2011-08-16T06:53:00Z

I am a woman of Christ.

I am a woman of laughter.

I am a woman of love.

And recently, I've become a woman of frustration.

Boy, do I not like that.

I've been getting frustrated with myself, with friends, with coworkers, with family, with boys.. And dare I say it.. Frustrated with God.

Actually, maybe I've had moments of impatience with God.

Definite moments of tapping my foot at God.

I don't like saying I've been frustrated with God.

Ugh, I am not proud of that.

Can I use the excuse "I'm human, I sin"? Sure, I can use it as the opening of a sentence.. As long as it concludes with ".. but I am not okay with that and I need to get that attitude out of here".

Being a Christian is recognizing that sin is a part of this world, but a big part of being a believer is striving to remove it from our lives, and to not be okay with it. You can't ever be satisfied with the sin you find in your life.

John Owen said, "Know the associates that Satan holds in your heart". I'm recognizing this hold he has on me (these moments of "I know better than God"), and I'm determine to make them less and less frequent in an effort to destroy it completely.

I'm fully aware that that's easier said than done. But, boy, am I going to work on it.

I've decided that in order to not be a "woman of frustration", I need to decide what type of a woman I'm going to be.

By default, my instinct was to go to Proverbs 31. Every godly woman that I know strives to be a Proverbs 31 woman. In my Bible, verses 10-31 are titled "A Woman Who Fears the Lord".

A woman of fear.

Doesn't that sound lovely? Hah. We tend to associate fear with dark rooms, haunted houses, and spiders.

But this fear is different.

A fear of the Lord is a sign of wisdom (according to Proverbs 9:10), and Proverbs 1:7 says that a fool despises wisdom. I don't want to be a fool.

It's a fear of recognizing what I deserve, and realizing that He has all the power over that.. But that I'm trusting He'll keep His promise to me.

A woman of fear and wisdom.

Not a bad thing to strive for.

God is good. All the time.

2011-07-01T03:28:29Z

Not just sometimes.

All the time.

That's so mind boggling to me. To be good all the time.

I can try and be good sometimes. But then I'll roll my eyes. Or think a not so nice thought about the guy that cut me off on the freeway. Maybe I'll even swear at someone. And there goes my attempt at being good ALL the time.

I don't think it's a bad thing to strive to be good all the time. But to be good compared to whose standards?

Good compared to the world? Well heck, if I compare myself to some people of the world, I think I could say I'm doing pretty good. I don't get drunk on the weekend. I haven't killed anyone. I go to church every Sunday. I've never smoked a cigarette.

But everyone can find someone that they're better than. It's really not that hard. But your life isn't supposed to be about making yourself feel better when you compare yourself to your best friend or sister. It's not even about making yourself better when you compare yourself about who you used to be.

How are you doing compared to Christ? As Christians, we're called to be like Christ.

You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:48

Be imitators of me, as I am Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1

You shouldn't be comparing yourself to the people that were able to go down to Japan to help after the earthquake, or compare yourself to your friend that is away at Bible school. Just because that was in God's plan for them doesn't mean that your current path of going to Community College and working is any less important or any less displeasing to God. It's not about them. It's about Christ - isn't that all it should ever be about? That's the relationship and comparison that you should be striving to strengthen and draw nearer to - you and Christ.

Anyways.. Just a little something that's been on my mind recently.. that I'm writing down more for my benefit than for anyone else's when I start struggling with this as talks of the future, school, and missions trips start to arise...

Untitled

2011-06-15T07:11:41Z

There's a relationship that only certain people get to experience in life.

This relationship, is the relationship between stand partners.

What's a stand partner?

A stand partner is the person that, as a musician, you share a music stand with. Most of the time, you share the same sheet of music. You sit next to each other, rehearsal after rehearsal. Day after day. And, if you're lucky like me, year after year.

My first stand partner was Nancy.

We both started playing the flute in fifth grade. We played together from fifth grade through twelfth grade. The only times that we were not stand partners was when I was on oboe, or when we were playing different flute parts. Seriously, from fifth grade until twelfth. If you think about it, that's at LEAST two concerts a year for eight years (add an additional concert/festival for seventh grade through twelfth, except for one year). Two years of marching next to each other for every field show for ninth and tenth grade (then she became the amazing drum major and I switched to pit). Plus marching next to each other for parades our ninth and tenth grade years. And sitting next to each other for football games. Plus performances at assemblies, open houses, memorials, and graduations.. PLUS, for fifth and sixth grade, we had two one-hour rehearsals each week for fifth and sixth grade, and then five one-hour rehearsals a week from seventh through twelfth grade.. And then add night rehearsals in high school and sectionals.. PLUS, we shared a marimba for drumline our senior year of high school, so that's even more hours.

Basically.. We've spent a lot of time together.

Seriously. If you look at pretty much every single concert video, every single concert picture that her parents have taken.. You'll see me in the background. I think it's really entertaining. There's always the redhead in the background.

Anyways, there's just something that stand partners share. I know some stand partners were competitive with each other. Some probably even hated each other. Nancy and me? It just worked. Nancy was always first chair, I was always second. And I was beyond okay with that. So there was never a competition, it was always just a genuine love for the music and the fact that we could groan and complain about the same complicated measure. She was always so natural and amazing at playing anything and everything, that I think wanting to be like her pushed me more than any grade or lecture ever could.

After spending so many hours, days, and years playing together, our friendship is more than just musically based. Over all the years, we also had real classes together. And we'd talk about real things, real life. Life outside of our wonderful world of bandos.

Since we've graduated from high school, we've seen each other regularly when she'd come home from school (oh yes, p.s. my talented stand partner is also incredibly gifted academically, and went to Harvard). And even though she is WAY smarter than me, we've always been able to get together for dinner or a drive, and just talk and talk and talk.

And we got to do that tonight. She's home from Harvard (actually, GRADUATED!). And we got together and talked. For four hours straight. I really don't think there was more than 10 seconds of silence. And it was just so awesome to be able to think about all the time we've spent together. And how we can still find stuff to talk about, after twelve years of friendship, and being from two totally and completely separate roads of life!

Anyways, for those of you who didn't get to experience the bond between stand partners.. I hope you have something you can compare it to. I will forever be grateful for my stand partner and friend :)

My ridiculously talented neighbors.

2011-05-22T09:44:52Z

I've developed a new hobby.

And I love it.

No, it's not a hobby for fishing. It's not a hobby involving playing a game. It's not a hobby for stalking celebrities.

It's hobby of watching people do what they love.

I think it's actually a rekindling of an old hobby.

I used to LOVE it - watching Catie play water polo, watching Carrie play basketball, watching Cory perform at a concert, watching Craig play in competition, watching Mae, Michelle, and Steph do guard stuff.. I loved it.

And it's been awhile since I've been able to do that.

Until recently.

My neigbors are ridiculously talented.

I have lived in the same house my entire life. And during this entire time, three doors down, has been this amazing family. Dad, Mom, Son, and Daughter. Bob, Carol, Matt, and Becca.

With us kids, it worked out great, because when you throw Matt and Becca in with Selah, Jenna, and me, we're all only about a year or two a part - it goes Selah, Matt, me, Becca, then Jenna - so we all always had someone to play with.

An extremely large percentage of the stories involving anything between the time of birth until junior high involve this family. And there's a less percentage as we've all gotten older, but they're still there.

When we were younger..

Disneyland. The beach. Wild Rivers. Mary Kate and Ashley movies. Playing video games. Trips to Palm Springs. 4th of July. New Years Eve. Thanksgiving. Christmas afternoon catch up. Matt's baseball games. Birthday parties. Swimming in our pool. Being baby sat by Amber across the street. Walking to Taco Bell. Climbing in the apricot tree. Dressing as twins. Synchronized swimming in the pool. Playing house.

And now as we're older..

Talking about school. Talking about life. Talking about God. Talking about music. Talking about boys. Talking about girls. Going for walks. Going for drives. Catching up for hours and hours and hours. Thanksgiving (still!). Disneyland (still!).

It's been fun to watch our friendships go from being friends because we lived close together and since we couldn't drive, it was either us or no one.. To actually being friends because we like each other, and get along.

There have been times over the years, where we'll go months and months and months without seeing each other.. And then sometimes we'll see each other every week or so - it really just depends on our schedules.

But recently, Matt and Becca have shown me these amazing talents that they have. They are musicians. And very gifted musicians at that!

I've known about Matt's music for a few years now.. I even have a couple of songs on my iPod that he probably wishes I didn't have.. And I remember when he first started getting into music, all I really kept thinking was "Matt loves video games. He's not a musician." and boy has he proven me wrong!

And Becca.. Well.. I have this vivid memory that took place at one of her birthday parties YEARS ago. We were playing a game, and all of us guests were supposed to guess answers to questions about Becca. And I remember that the answer to "What does Becca want to be when she grows up?" was most definitely "a singer". So I think it's always been in her blood - but never did I imagine she'd be as amazing as she is.

I absolutely LOVE watching Matt and Becca perform. Matt's been performing longer than Becca, but they're both amazing up there behind the microphone.

Oh, and for the record, they don't just perform covers. They perform their own music. Which is always something that is so hard for me to comprehend (give me sheet music, and I can play it, no problem. But give me a blank sheet of paper with no words or filled in staffs.. And it will remain that way.. Except maybe a few doodles..). Their covers are freaking amazing, too. But their original music is so awesome, I can't explain it.

I just love watching these two people (siblings of mine, really) use these gifts to get up there and perform and share their abilities with other people. I don't know if I could ever do that. But they can and do, and I love it!

Anyways, I love those two (and their parents) and I love what they're sharing with the rest of us these days :)

And I love watching people I love.. Doing what they love.. So that other people can love it, too!

Jealousy, contentment, thriving, and some rambles.. :)

2011-05-16T03:11:44Z

I've learned recently that there are two different types of jealousy.

There's the type of jealousy where it's purely selfish. You see someone, and all you can think of is "I really want that purse" or "I would look so much better with that jacket than her". There's nothing attractive about that. It's a typical "me, me, me" attitude. Not cute.

Then, there's this other type of jealousy. And I can't figure out if jealousy is the right word.. But it's a jealousy when you hear something about them, and you're jealous.. But for a good reason. And in the midst of your jealousy, you're so stinking excited for them! You don't want them to not experience/have whatever it is you're jealous about.. But you do wish that you could experience it along with them.

Maybe I should give an example.

I've had this same scenario play out with a bunch of my friends in the last few months. A friend is going on a missions trip. They're going somewhere else, outside of their home, city, or country, and they are going with the purpose of helping others, showing them Christ's love, and just fully dedicating every ounce of their being to the Lord for a certain (or uncertain) amount of time. And when I hear this, my response is typically "I am jealous of you in the best way possible".

Now, I don't think I've ever thought the thought "Ugh, I wish that was me instead of them". I'm always just full of happiness and excitement for them (and promises of prayers for safety and opportunities flow from my lips), and then I think about how badly I would LOVE to be able to just drop everything I have going for me here in comfortable, routine, Orange County, California.. And just go.

Go. Go. Go.

Not go on vacation (even though I did just go on vacation and it was amazing).. But go somewhere, anywhere, and just talk with people, get to know them, share God's love with them, and see where that takes them and where it takes me.

Now, I know that jealousy is not a good thing, but, I think I've decided that I'm kinda okay with the second jealousy, because it's kinda encouraging to the other person, and also kinda a motivation for me.

On the vacation I just went on, I got to spend a few days with just my grandparents in Tennesse (my mom's parents). We spent hours just talking about life and Jesus. And it was ridiculously encouraging and just an amazing time all the way around. I can't remember how many times throughout our few short days together that I pretty much just sat there, hands in the air saying "I don't know what God wants me to do. I don't know where He wants me to be going. I don't know what He wants me to be focused on. But I'm ready. And He knows I'm ready. And just in case He doesn't know.. This is me telling Him - I am ready!"

I've been trying really hard to not have an attitude of being content with just "floating" right now. I'm at a spot in my life where I should be quite happy. I have a job that I love.. But.. I really don't think it's something that I'll make a career out of. Don't get me wrong, I love the people, but I don't get excited about working with computers. If anything, I love the fact that I spend every day helping people (even if I moan and groan sometimes).. And I'm in school, learning stuff.. But I'm really bored with it. I don't get excited about math. I don't care about geography. I tend to sit there thinking "anything that I don't know now.. Well, that's what I have Google for." And I just feel like I'm wasting my time sitting in a class learning things that I really don't care about. I want to be learning about Christ. I want to be out there, talking to people and sharing what I'm learning.. I have way, way, way more conversations about Christ and what He's doing in my life and in the lives of others than I do about who fought what battle in the Civil War and why 2 + 2 = 4.. I try to take "interest classes" to help spark an interest in what my major should be.. But I find so much more joy in pulling out a book I got from the Christian Book Store and reading that than listening to a teacher talk about something.. It's just so boring. If I'm filling my head with something, I want it to be good, Biblical stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I am content with life - actually, I love life! And I know there are people that are far worse out there than me - that might look at my life saying that they wish their only problem was not knowing their major, that I should be happy with just a job, a roof over my head, and family and friends that love me. And I am happy - I know that I am extremely blessed, and I try my hardest not to take it for granted. But I don't want to just be "happy" or "content". Because being content can oh-so-easily turn into complacency. And I know that this life I'm living isn't because of me.. It's because of Him. And I want that to remain my focus.

Jon Foreman (from Switchfoot) has this song out there.. It's not on any of his CDs (yet), and you can't buy it on iTunes. It is on Youtube though (click here!).. And there's this one line from the song that resonates in me.. "I want to thrive, not just survive".

I want to thrive. Not just survive.

And I don't want to thrive by THIS world's standards. I want to thrive by HIS. Because that is all that matters.

Some Love Wins humor..

2011-04-13T06:45:10Z

I've had like, four different people share this video with me, because they thought I'd be entertained by it.. And they were right!

So, this is the original video that Rob Bell posted promoting his book Love Wins.

I will tell you, that my first reaction when I watched that was "Uh, I have absolutely no problem believing that Gandhi is in Hell". I've always been told that it doesn't matter how good of a person you are, it's about what you believe.. Who you believe in. And from what I know of Gandhi, he wasn't a Christian. But, props to Bell for using Gandhi as a way to draw people in, because (especially non believers) would have a hard time thinking about Gandhi - who is known for being this great peace making guy and for inspiring and helping tons of people - going to Hell. I feel like most spiritual leaders that I know would have gone the other way with using Gandhi as an example.. Instead of implying that how could you really believe that someone as good as Gandhi could go to hell, it should instead be even someone as good as Gandhi will go to Hell if he doesn't believe the Truth... Anyways...

This is a parody video that was sent to me by a bunch of people, and it cracks me up!

It cracks me up, because yes, he's making fun of Rob Bell's absurdity.. But at the same time, he makes some very valid points.

"Why not just talk like an idiot?"

And in other news, I'm bummed that I'm going to be missing opportunities to hear Francis Chan and John Piper speak while I'm on my vacation in a few weeks! God has a sense of humor, that's for sure..

Adaptation, adaptation is the game..

2011-03-20T23:44:48Z

"a slow, usually unconscious modification of individual and social activity in adjustment to cultural surroundings" (dictionary.com)

Or in my words "responding to change around you".

Two things come to mind when I think of adaptation.

The first thing is always that "Concentration" song. We used to play it all the time when I was younger, in the car and stuff.. Concentration, concentration is the game. Keep the rhythm, keep the rhythm just the same. Sub-ject: Animals. This might not make any sense in typing, but you'd sing this song while doing these 4 hand motions in tempo, and the motions were 1) both hands slap your lap, 2) hands clap together, 3) right hand snaps, 4) left hand snaps. And each action was done in tempo, and at the same time, you were singing the song, in tempo. So it'd be something like.. Con (hands on lap) cen (hands clap) tra (right hand snaps) tion (left hand snaps), concen (hands on lap) tration (hands clap) is the (right hand snaps) game (left hand snaps)... Like I said, I don't think that makes sense while typing.. But it was a fun game. After you decided on the "subject', you'd go around to all of the people playing the game, and they had to come up with something that fit into the subject, and they had to verbalize their choice in beat, but you had to say it while you were doing the two snapping actions.. Sorry, that probably only remotely makes sense if you know the song/game.

ANYWAYS.. That song comes to mind when I think of adaptation because you can easily slip the word "adaptation" into the song in place of "concentration".. Doesn't make any sense - I know.. Welcome to my mind!

The second thing I think of is second grade. I can't remember it for any other year of my education, but in second grade, we had a theme word for the year, and adaptation was the word. I don't know if it was just for the advanced classes at Ethan Allen, or all classes, or just our class.. But that was the word. I can still picture the word plastered all over the walls.. Written horizontally, vertically.. in red, black, and silver letters..

It's funny the things you remember.

I've learned in the last couple of months that I don't adapt well to change. I just don't. Someone mentioned it to me awhile ago (that I don't adapt well), and I took offense! "What? I'm the queen of spontaneity! How could I not LOVE change?"

But, after thinking about my response.. I do love being spontaneous. BUT, only when it's not interrupting something else that I've planned. If I have my mind set on something, and you decide to be spontaneous.. There's a good chance that I'll have a stubborn moment and throw down my foot.

This happened a few weeks ago. I decided I wanted to go to the movies with two friends, and as I was pulling into the parking lot, they called and said that they decided they really didn't want to see a movie. I had my natural reaction of completely shutting down. How dare they change their mind! I got out of my car, walked up to them, and we stood outside of the theatre trying to figure out what to do for like a half hour. I still wanted to see the movie.. And they were suggesting "Hey, let's go to Disneyland" or "Hey, let's go to the beach".. But nothing sounded even remotely enjoyable to me. After they saw that I had no desire to change my mind, they both said "let's just go see the movie". Which should have made me happy, BUT.. Because I knew they really didn't want to go see it, I didn't want to see it with them anymore. I KNOW, I'm such a freaking girl. (Have you read this post about me being a girl? Ugh).. I was almost to the point of me telling them to just go to Disney, and I'll go see the movie alone, even though they were willing to see it with me.. Talk about temper tantrum. And I'm not proud of it. But.. This is just an example of how I don't adapt well to change..

We ended up going to the grocery store and searched for green food for an activity later on.. Hahah.. Oh man, I love my friends and that they put up with me. <3

ANYWAYS... I don't adapt well.

Which some people can look at as "meh, no big deal. Some of us just don't like change". But I'm not going to write it off as that.

I'm looking at is as a root problem of selfishness. I wanted to go to the movies. I didn't like the situation. My plans were changed. Me, me, me.

There are plenty of Bible verses having to do with selfishness. And none of them say "God loves it when you are selfish. Remember that you are all that matters in this world"....... They are all quite the opposite..

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

Romans 15:1-2

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

James 3:16

Selfishness is not an attractive trait in the eyes of Christ. And if He doesn't like it, I don't want it.

Easier said than done, I know. But it's something I do want to work on.

Maybe "my" version of the "Concentration" song should be what comes to mind... Adaptation, adaptation is the game. Keep this mindset, keep this mindset all the time..

It needs some work.

I need some work.

We all need some work.