I don't know how many times I've heard sermons about suffering.

Some preachers approach it in a "YOU WILL SUFFER!" attitude, some address it in a "well, we deserve it, so we're going to suffer", and then others don't talk about it. They don't want to talk about the wrathful side of God and the "ugly" side of our faith.

I don't like calling it the ugly side. Because honestly, it's the side we deserve.

Every single time a pastor addresses it, I get excited. Well, excited might not be the right word.. I get.. Impatient.

I can't wait. I want to suffer for Christ. I want to.

But I feel like pastors always say things like "We've all suffered. We all know what it's like to be an outcast and made fun of for our faith".. And I always sit there and think... When?

When have I ever felt that way? And I promise that I was not one of those public school kids that just did the church thing on Sundays and then during the week pretended that I was just another kid. Yes, I had my phases where I did things where I wasn't who I should have been. But I can almost guarantee that anyone that has talked to me for more than an hour knows where my heart lies.

My friends and classmates all knew that I was a believer. But I don't feel like I ever suffered. I always try and genuinely think about when I've felt like a true outcast because of my faith.. At a party when I'm not getting plastered? No, because I'm fine with them knowing that the reason I'm not doing it is because that's not for me because the Bible tells us not to get drunk. Sitting in a room when my friends talk about sex? I don't feel like an outcast because I can't contribute. I'm proud of the fact that I know how to control myself and that there's more to relationships than that. Deciding to leave before other people on a Saturday because I have church the next morning? If they think it's weird, then they know they are more than welcomed to come with me!

Maybe I've just been surrounded by upstanding citizens that are okay with people that are different? No, I haven't been. But I still don't feel like I've suffered.

Have I suffered like losing my house? Losing my parents? Breaking bones? Going broke? Being jobless? No, I haven't. And I'm thankful for that. But even my car accident. Car totaled.. But I don't consider that suffering. That's just a part of life.

But Christ tells us that we will suffer. We will suffer.

Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.
2 Timothy 3:12 (ESV)

We will be persecuted. We will suffer.

We will ache, agonize, be wounded, deteriorate, hurt, writhe..

Sounds fun, huh?

You can also look at it as enduring, experiencing, letting it happen...

It's about how you handle it.

2 Timothy 4:7 tells you what you should be able to say before, during and after the suffering.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

We will suffer. Expect suffering. Be eager for suffering.

Christ tells us that we will suffer, so don't be surprised when it happens.

I don't understand these religions with multiple gods (that is lowercase on purpose, there's one God, not several wannabes).

I won't pretend that I can even pretend to grasp what these different gods do. But from what I've heard.. In some cases.. Each god represents something different (happiness, disease, wealth, fertility, etc). And if something happens (for example, if you lose all your money), it's because you didn't satisfy the god that would be directly related to the action (so in this case, you ticked off the wealth god). Or if you can't get pregnant, you need to make offerings and pray to the fertility god.

I just don't get how people could fall for that. And not just a few people, but hundreds of thousands of millions of people (from scholars down to high school drop outs) that believe that everything that happens is their fault because they upset these.. "spiritual beings"..

They call it faith. I, honestly, call it stupidity. And that might be harsh.. But faith isn't about the things that make you feel good. It's not just about the promise of Heaven. It's not just about the unconditional love. It's about remembering the pain and suffering - and being grateful beyond belief for what He went through. It's about knowing that the only thing, the ONLY thing that we deserve is Hell - but again, being grateful and in awe of Christ's grace and mercy. It's about knowing that adding or subtracting anything to the Bible - which is God's word - (like adding more "gods").. Well, according to Revelation 22:18-19, you will lose your share in the Tree of Life and in the Holy City.. Oh, and plagues! (I think that several other religions like to ignore those verses about adding and removing to the Bible).. And it's knowing this, and knowing that anyone who does add or subtract is not a believer, and is not leading you in the right direction. Quite the opposite (direction), actually.

Anyways, back on topic.. One God (that's with a capital G) is all that there is. Karma doesn't exist, because God already has everything planned out. God doesn't make someone infertile because they didn't burn enough incense in His name.. They're infertile because it's part of God's plan. And part of having a real relationship with Him is throwing your hands up in the air and admitting that it is completely out of your hands.. And being okay with that.

I don't know if that got me back on topic. I just watched Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts in it.. And those type of movies drive me absolutely crazy. And it kills me when they resort to these other religions for "happiness" in movies.. Or when they feel like their life will be incomplete, and they can't be truly happy until they're married. Drives me up a wall.

I'm thankful for my God and what He sent His Son to do for me. And I'm glad that I know the Truth. And my heart breaks for those that are blindly following and trusting in false gods. I pray their hearts, eyes, and minds start questioning the things they're being taught, and that they find people that can point them in the Right direction..

Sent from my iPod

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of ourselves, it is a gift from God. Not of works, lest anyone should boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy, He saved us through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.
Titus 3:5

How can Catholics believe in the Bible, and yet believe that Salvation is works based?

In fact, according to faithforcatholics.org, "...the Catholic Church teaches that faith is important; but it also insists on the necessity of good works to merit eternal life."

Maybe I'm reading that with a negative tone.. But how I interpret that is "yeah, faith is important, but it is necessary to do good works to gain good works."

I'm so thankful that I know my salvation isn't something that I can gain or lose based on how many bowls of soup I serve at a homeless shelter or how many kids I tutor in math.. And that verse proves it. Our salvation is because of God's grace and mercy. And nothing more.

Mercy: not getting something we deserve (Hell)
Grace: getting something we don't deserve (Heaven)

We deserve Hell, but God gives us Heaven. And not because of "good works".

There's nothing wrong with doing "good works". But the reasoning behind it is important. "Good works" is something we do as Believers because we know it honors God.. Not because it's something we have to do to earn favor with Him to reserve our spots in Heaven.

Jesus already did the "greatest good" that anyone could do. His "good work" is the only reason we can go to Heaven.

Doing "good works" to ensure our salvation is like people still believing that sacrificing a lamb is necessary. It demeans what Christ did for us on the cross. It's like saying what He did for us wasn't good enough, so we have to keep doing it.

Thank You for the cross.
Thank You for the cross.
Thank You for the cross, my Friend.

(Once Again - Matt Redman)

To say that this week was just like any other week would be a lie. A very, very big lie.

But it's a Saturday afternoon, it's not raining at this exact second, and I can't help but laugh and be grateful.

God has a sense of humor, and if you don't think that's true, then you've been worshiping the wrong god.

We all know what a normal eyeball looks like..

Well, this was my eye on Tuesday.

 

I have a thing for being horrible at car maintenance.

For example, the first time I had to get my brakes changed, this is what my brake pads looked like:

And this is what a brand new brake pad looks like.

Needless to say, I haven't gotten any better at maintenance over the years.. So I got my brakes done on Wednesday (that took until Thursday) which required new brake pads and rotors on my front wheels, costing about $300.

And then.. The highlight of my week.. I got into an accident yesterday.

This is what my car looked like when I got it in August of 2007.

And this is what it looks like now.

P.S. I also put new tires on all four wheels two weeks ago.

It was ridiculously emotional to clean out my car yesterday. This was my first car. My first big purchase. The end of high school, the start of the "real world". So many memories in that car. Good and bad. And it was a ridiculous bummer.

BUT! There are some random things to be thankful for!

1 - My car registration is due in November, and I hadn't paid it yet. That's about $130 that I could have paid and would have basically gone right down the drain.

2 - I needed gas. It was going to be my first stop after work. So that's $50 I didn't spend.

3 - AAA got there very fast, so I was only in tears on the side of the freeway for about 20 minutes.

4 - It was down the freeway from work, and everyone was very willing to come help me and get me and do whatever I needed. It was so reassuring to know that if my mom or someone couldn't come help me, that I would still be in good hands.

**Sidenote: I called my office to say I'd be late/wasn't coming in before I called my mom, dad, AAA, tow truck, 911.. I'm not sure what normal protocol is there. But I feel like I probably should have called my mom first. It all worked out fine, but I still find it kind of entertaining. The other lady was asking for my driver's license, and I handed it to her and said "I'll be right back, I need to call the office".. Hahah..

5 - My mom was able to come get me. I've dealt with minor fender benders, but never has it been to the point of needing a tow truck. I had no clue where we were going to need to take my car. But my mom was able to leave where she was and come get me and handle it. There are some days when I'm super independent and think I can do everything on my own, and then there are days when I just want my mommy. Yesterday was one of those days. Love you, mom!

**Sidenote: My mom saved me on Wednesday as well when I was in tears at the brake place because they were keeping my car overnight and I didn't know how I was going to get home and how I was going to be able to keep housesitting.. And mom was able to come get me (Jenna tried, but she went to the wrong brake place.. Hahah She tried though, and I love her for it!) and figure out the plan as we were a car down.

**Extra Sidenote: On Wednesday when I called my mom to explain the brake ordeal, I was in tears, sobbing that "They have my car and I don't know what we'll do about housesitting cuz they won't give it to me and I was trying to be good and get my brakes done and.." and my mom was like "Are you okay?" and I responded "Yeah, I'm okay, BUT..".. Well, later that day my mom mentioned that when I call her in hysterics, I need to START the phone call with "I'm okay, but.." and then go into the saga. So yesterday, when I called to tell my mom I was on the side of the freeway cuz I totaled my car, I started out the conversation the way we discussed "Mom, I'm okay, but.. I was in a car accident and I can't drive it and the CHP is here and the other lady..".. That was probably a phone call where.. Well.. I kinda wasn't okay exactly.. But I started it out the right way!

6 - I wasn't injured. I have chemical burns on one of my arms from the air bags (which, if you've never experienced airbags.. consider yourself lucky. The yellow smoke and smell was almost more terrifying than the glass cracking and not knowing if my car was going to explode or not..). I also have a light bruise from the seatbelt and a little bruise on my stomach, but it's not too bad. I'm sore today a little bit, but I know it could all be a lot worse.

7 - Seatbelt and airbags! I know I just complained about the airbags, but I am thankful for them! Everything would have been a lot worse if I didn't have airbags or a seat belt!

8 - The CHP officer that came was ridiculously nice! He was very much concerned about making sure both parties involved were okay, and he could have had an attitude that could have easily made the whole thing be so much worse.

9 - I received countless phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, Tweets, emails, etc checking on me. I was exhausted after the adrenaline wore off, so if I didn't respond, I apologize. But I am so thankful for everyone that reached out! More importantly, I'm thankful for the prayers that came with the messages. Knowing that I had people praying for me was so comforting and reassuring.

10 - God was watching out for me. I have no doubt in my mind. And it's only because of Him that I can actually find the good things in this whole crummy situation. It's all a part of His plan and I can't wait to see what unfolds because of it.

I'll miss my car.. But it was just a car.

I'm fine, and I'm thankful for that!

I went to the doctor today to have them look at my eyeballs. After she diagnosed my with conjunctivitis (aka pink eye), she asked me if I had any other health related questions.

It'd been a few years since I'd asked this particular question, so I figure I might as well take a chance, see what the new theories are.

"Well, I've had this case of the hiccups for a long time. But they're not normal hiccups.. Anything for that?"

Now, for those of you creeping on my page who haven't hung out with me in awhile or haven't been around me for more than an hour at a time.. I have the hiccups. It's not the normal hiccups that last for twenty minutes that come every 30-60 seconds. It's one or two hiccups every hour to a half hour. Every single day. Since I turned 13. I'm now 21. That's 8 years (going on 9 in February).

When I was 16, I was at the doctor at mentioned the hiccups, and the explanation was "It's just part of growing up"..

That's an acceptable excuse when I'm 16, but I'm 21 now. Time for a new reason, please.

Today, my doctor gave me a prescription! To get rid of them! She prescribed me metoclopramide. After doing some research online, there's nothing about hiccups and such. She said that they use it a lot for people that get nauseous when they eat or something. But, this is what they prescribe for people that walk into the clinic when they've had "normal" hiccups for like, a week straight and stuff.

Anyways, so I'm sitting here in bed, staring at the bottle. And I can't decide if I want to take them.

My hiccups have been a part of my life now for about 40% of my existence.

They don't define me, I know that.

And I've always been willing to try any old wives tale (drink water upside down, etc), but in the back of my head I was always going into it knowing that I wasn't expecting it to work.

But this.. It could really, really work. A doctor has given me something that could actually get rid of them.

My hiccups have always been great ice breakers.

They hold a lot of memories.. There's a duck in the tree! (haha even though those were Michelle's hiccups) Where's my brown french fry!? You just swallowed your laugh! How is that possible!?

Selah's had them for three years longer than me.. Maybe SHE should take the pills!

Hmm.. It's just weird to think about. Do I want to really take a chance at really getting rid of them?