Thoughts to fingers, for all the world to see..

She said yes.

My headphones died today.

I got into the car and was going to call a friend.. And I couldn't hear the other person. Phail.

Thinking that maybe my phone was having  a temperamental moment, I plugged it into my iPod.

Still a no-go.

So.. I made an impromptu stop at the Apple Store at South Coast Plaza to get a new pair. I was ready to buy them, when a handy, dandy, Apple specialist mentioned that they'd be under warranty for a year. My quick thinking calculated that my dead pair is less than a year old.. So voila! Free, new pair!

But, this just went from a purchase.. To the need for a Genius Bar appointment.. And I suddenly had 45 minutes to kill.

Thankfully, one of my favorite places is about 100 feet from the Apple Store.. Borders!

And since I have a car ride up to Big Bear, some free time, and a ride home from Big Bear coming up, I decided that a book or two would be a good purchase!

I wandered all through the store, trying to find the perfect book.

I find myself drawn to the biography section every time I go into Border's or B&N. I love biographies. I think it's so interesting to see the walks that other people go through in their life.

I looked through the Biography and Memoir section a few times, and nothing popped out at me. I went upstairs to look at the Young Adults section (maybe Sarah Dessen has a new book!?!), and was disturbed by the amount of vampire books there are now! Holy crimony!

Anyways, on my walk back downstairs, I realized what book I wanted to buy.

She Said Yes, by Misty Bernall.

This is the second time I'm buying this book. My first copy has been read, written in, loved, and abused so many times that the spine is broken and pages are falling out. It was time for a new one.

What's so special about this book?

It's the story of someone that I want to be like.

Misty Bernall wrote the book in honor of her daughter, Cassie. It's the story of Cassie's life. She was a daddy's girl who grew up in a loving, Christian family. Then, as many people do, she entered her teenage years and got involved in some really bad stuff. She walked away from her faith and met some horrible friends that were horrible influences on her. But her parents never stopped loving her. They made tough decisions to show her some tough love.. And it paid off. She found her way back to Christ, and fell more in love with Him than ever before.

The book isn't just about a good girl gone bad then back to good. Cassie died on April 20, 1999. She was only 17. She died at the Columbine High School shooting.

It's not just the fact that Misty's daughter died at 17 that motivated her to write about Cassie's story. But it was Cassie's final word.

"Yes."

That was the last word she spoke.

And that word was an answer to a question.

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes."

She answered "yes". She answered "yes" with a gun pointed to her forehead. And she died for it.

I remember reading that for the first time (as a 6th grader) and getting goosebumps. And wondering if I would have the courage and faith to do that if I had to. Correction: if I had the opportunity to do that.

Imagine if her answer had been "no". She still might have died. But man, what a different ending to the story.

Have you ever been asked "how do you want to die?"? I used to always respond "when I'm old, in my sleep". Granted, that would be nice (insert adorable death scene from The Notebook here).. But man, that's the number 2 way I want to die. To die for Christ? To have my final words and breath be proclaiming Christ's love? Holy cow. I'd rather die talking about Christ than dying, silent, in my sleep.

Lord, I pray that my faith is that strong.

Let Us Pray..

Prayer.

It's such a basic part of Christianity - and other religions, too.

Even people that aren't religious randomly pray. Now, who do they think they're praying to? I have no idea.

But... I know who I'm praying to. The God, my God, the God that created the universe, is omniscient, is loving, is in total control, sent His Son to die for ME so that I can go to Heaven when I die. The One that I strive to live for every second of every day. The One who never ceases to amaze me with how much He loves me, and how He forgives me every time I screw up. How He's always with me and always will be..

Anyways, I could go on for years describing God. But I'm not going to - today, at least.

As I said earlier, prayer is a basic part of my faith. It's basic, but so important. And something that I don't know where I'd be without.

As a (really bad) analogy... Think of it like addition. 1 + 1 = 2. We all know this, we were taught this in elementary school. And at the time, it was cool, but after we realized that 2 + 2 = 4, and 5 + 6 = 11, it kinda got boring. We understood it, what more to it is there? And then you learned multiplication! 3 x 4 = 12! Which, when you dissect it, is really just 3 + 3 + 3 + 3! So, it went back to addition! And then you get into algebra, geometry, calculus, and all those other math classes.. And you started being able to apply it in all aspects of your life (I'm going on vacation for 7 days, so I need seven outfits: 7 pants + 7 shirts + 7 pairs of underwear = 21 items in my suitcase).. And science, medicine, accountants.. They'd be lost without the addition!

And we forget about how important that simple math action is because it comes so naturally. And if we hadn't learned it way back when, we would be totally lost today.

That's how prayer is - or should. So natural, so basic.. But so, so, soooo important!

In Sunday School, we always prayed to start and end the lesson. "Close your eyes and bow your head. Let's pray." We'd pray for sick kids that were missing, and pray for a good week. Before meals, my family would always pray "Thank You for this day, thank You for this food, and thank You for Daddy getting home safely. Please bless this food to our body's use." Not because it was our "scripted" prayer, but it was where we felt comfortable. Then as we got older, we'd add more to it, and personalize it. (Which, honestly, I think is how our relationship with Christ is for most people. You start wherever you start, and you develop your own relationship with Him over time)

But now, as an almost 22 year old, prayer is something that I hold so near, and so dear to my heart. And I think it's silly that it took me so long to get here.

The first verse that I think of when it comes to praying is simple, but important: 1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing".

I used to think that that concept was really hard to comprehend - how do you carry on a conversation with Someone that.. Well, to be honest, can be a little on the quiet side sometimes?

Yes, He may be quiet.. But boy, when He does talk.. Does He talk!

And people tend to forget.. It's not that He's not talking.. It's that we're not listening.

I do that a lot.

A while ago, I was having a night when I desperately needed to talk to the person who tends to know me the most - Craig. I called him, said hello, and started into my saga over whatever I needed advice on. I talked, talked, talked.. And when I finally stopped, he laughed, and told me that I had literally, literally, talked for 15 minutes straight. Without a single word from him.

And, believe it or not (gasp!) this is not the first time this has happened.

I don't feel guilty when I do that to Craig (he's used to it), but doing it to God? He's probably used to it (not just from me!), but boy, does He not deserve it!

I want to really focus on praying without ceasing. But, I also really want to focus on listening to Him.

Let Us Pray - Steven Curtis Chapman

Let us pray, let us pray, everywhere in every way 
Every moment of the day, it is the right time 
For the Father above, He is listening with love 
And He wants to answer us, so let us pray

Laughter is such a blessing

I love to laugh.

Love. Love. Love. With a capital L on every single one!

I don't care if I have more wrinkles than anybody in the entire world when I get older - they will be wrinkles marking how much I laughed during my life!

Let me share a recent time when I laughed – REALLY laughed. And if you don’t want to read it… Well, it’s my blog. Suck it up J

On Saturday night, I hung out with Phill and Leigh. We went to the movies and then headed to Chipotle. We went to the movie super early and we got out at 6:30 (I can't remember the last time I went INTO a movie before 8!)… And I refused to say goodbye to them before 7 PM on a Saturday! So I suggested Chipotle - my default location anytime a question of where to eat is brought up.

We spent about 2 and half hours at Chipotle. Just talking, and sharing, and LAUGHING. Oh my, did we laugh.

I laugh all the time. I laugh when I'm on the phone. I laugh when I'm texting a witty (in my opinion) reply. I laugh when I think of a memory. I laugh when I tell a story. I laugh at work. I laugh at home. I laugh with friends. I'm sure I'd laugh with enemies if I had any! I even laughed when I broke my pinky in Jr. High. And when I got my hand shut in a car door.

It tends to be my default reaction to situations – which I am perfectly okay with!

But man, on Saturday night… I cried. I cried from laughing.

Which I didn't realize until my drive home that night... But I haven't done that in a long time.

I didn't just cry. If you know me.. Then you can imagine this next situation that I'm going to describe rather well…

I started telling a story (for the sake of this post, I'll tell you that it was a story of my dumb, amazing, black dog.. Read more about her here), and the more I told about her... And the closer I got to the climax of the story... And the further ahead in my mind that I got than the words that were coming out of my mouth... The more I couldn't control myself.

First I was laughing. And you'd think I'd learn, but I tried to continue the story through the laughter. Then I started laughing some more, and tears started forming in my eyes. I still tried to continue the story. Then I realized... I couldn't continue. I had surpassed the laughing phase and had reached the uncontrollable, un-hearable (is that the word?) level of laughter. But, apparently I'm stubborn, I still tried to talk and tell the story.

And I got stuck on a line that wasn't even that funny... I think I got stuck on the sentence "and then she had a stroke" (yes, my dog).. But I got stuck between had and a... And it seriously took me about five minutes to get out the words "a stroke"...

Obviously, that is not funny. Yes, my dog had a stroke a few years ago. Yes, her face is crooked. Yes, she looks at you and you can't help but feel sympathy... But I was thinking about the next part of the story...

How my mom took Ali (the dog) to the vet last week and they found out that she has 6 heart murmurs (I know, still not funny)... But the doctor took her into the back room, and brought her out and said "did you know that her nose is crooked?" to which the response was "Um... well, her entire face is crooked, not just the nose"...

Wow. Still not funny.

But, to me, at Chipotle on Saturday night with my best friend and new friend (that I am beginning to think of as a sister)... Telling the story of my poor stroke victim dog was the funniest thing in the world to me.

I once babysat for a munchkin, and while we were playing with his trains, I was laughing at something, and he stopped, looked at me, and commented “I like you, you laugh a lot. Our other baby sitters don’t!” I’m okay with being the laughing babysitter J


I just want to make sure that people know that I'm happy because of Who I live my life for.

One of my favorite verses since I was in high school has been Proverbs 15:13.

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

I have a happy heart, and I am so thankful that God gave me a smile and lots of laughter to show it on my face!

And the "Song Stuck in My Head Award of the Week" goes to..

Gratitude - Nichole Nordeman

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude 
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

 -----

I love this song.

I love the attitude that's presented in this song.

The reminder of what our attitude should be. Give thanks, for everything.
When no roof is overhead, be thankful because it offers a better view of the sky.
How cool is that?

Yes, it's hard to have that type of a response when something (like your roof falling off) happens.. But we should take comfort in knowing that it was all apart of God's planning. Find what God was using the situation for. Maybe to just remind you that this life here is temporary. Maybe to give you an opportunity to show non-believers around you what your attitude should be. Or maybe God really just wanted you to calm down and have a minute to stare at the stars - because how can you look up in the sky and not be absolutely AMAZED at the vastness of who Christ is!?

Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 5:20

I don't exactly know what the plan is..

But God knows, and I'm so glad that THAT is more than enough for me!

In my post about Islam down below, I mentioned that there are three people that God has placed in my life recently that I have the honor of having some conversations with that God is the focal point. I also mentioned that of the three, there's one that I don't have as many conversations with.

Leave it to God to knock me off my socks!

Today, he asked me what church I go to. He said that his wife is wanting to get involved in a church, and that he's seen how "into" the God stuff I am, and that he thinks my church could be an option! 

I think my smile was about to fall off my face!

Of course, I went off on a tangent about how amazing my church is and how the teaching is so God centered and theologically sound and how awesome our women's ministry is.. Thankfully, I didn't freak him out and he asked where my church is at. So I told him I'd send him an email with our information in it!

And then he mentioned how he's seen how kids are when they grow up in a Christian family versus a non-Christian family, and that when him and his wife have kids, they definitely want them to turn out like the former. 

I've always been against "evangelical dating" (dating a non-Christian in the hopes of converting them).. But evangelical-munchkin-upbringing? I can't help but think that God uses kids to bring parents to Christ. It may not be the conventional way, but I know many, many families that have had the same mindset (wanting to raise their kids in a religious environment), and that over the course of AWANA and VBS, the parents get involved and then they end up coming for themselves and for honoring God, instead of just raising "good kids".

Anyways, I sent him an email with our church address and website on it... We'll see what happens! I have no doubt in my mind that this is all a part of God moving in his heart - even if it's starting with moving in his wife's heart!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5