Okay, I know it's 4 in the morning, but I just got home and I don't have work in the morning so I have no qualms about sleeping in today :)

This is a picture of 6 of the people that have known me the longest. They've known me forever! Let me give you the run down.

The far left is Danny. I've known Danny since 2nd grade. He's the youngest of the group, but only by about two months.

The lady with her arm around Danny is Stephanie! I've known Steph since 4th grade, although we've technically known each other since way before that because her old baby sitter is my neighbor.

The guy in the purple shirt is Nick (he's actually the reason we're all together, it was for his birthday). We all met him our freshman year of high school, but I tend to forget that because he fits with us all so well!

The girlie in front of me is Aileen, but everybody calls her Mae. I've known her since 1st grade, and then I went to another school from 2nd through 6th (where I met everyone else), and we were reunited in 7th grade. We've always called each other our "BFF from first grade until forever!"

Michelle is to the right of me! I've known her since 2nd grade! She was definitely one of my first friends that I made when I switched schools, and we've been friends ever since!

And the last one is Harrison, a.k.a. Ono, a.k.a. Butthead, a.k.a. Loser.. All said with love, of course. I met him in 5th grade, and then proceeded to be in love with him for the next few years (hah! I wasn't the only one..).

Anyways..

We've been affectionately nicknamed "The White Kids" by several people.. Which is funny, because actually, Michelle, Steph, and I are the only full white people.. The rest are all either half or not at all.. Lol

We've had our ups and downs of a group. And some of us hang out more than others - do you know how hard it is to line up 7 people's schedules when we all either work, go to school, or do both?? Some of these guys I see almost every week, and then others I see only every 6 months or so.. But it's always kinda fun to get together. And we rarely ever have ALL of us together! We were all together at Nick's first party at his apartment back in September, but Mae and I were leaving right as Michelle walked in the door, so we weren't really all together. However, on the way home, I was kicking myself because we'd missed the photo opportunity! So tonight, I was determined to get a picture!

And we did. And I kinda think it might be my new favorite picture.

Like I said, we've had our ups and downs (oh the drama that we had in high school!), but us girls will always be sisters, and the boys will always be what completes us into being one dysfunctional family. And I heart them very much <3

Here's some more pictures of us over the years..

6th grade - June 2001

8th grade trip to Washington DC - Spring Break 2003

9th grade Winter Formal - February 2004

Hawaii trip - November 2006

Grad night - June 2007

Watching LQ Band Camp preview - August 2008

When I'm having a "blah" day or moment, my reaction is to shut down. I don't like to talk about my problems with everybody and their mother. And I won't just talk about it with just anyone who asks. In fact, if the wrong person asks, it just enhances my mood even more.

I know it's weird, and it's not right. But that's my reaction. Always has been.

You would think that maybe, just maybe, I should just let everybody (and their mother) know that they just need to not ask me what's wrong. "If I want to tell you, I'll talk to you about it. I appreciate the sentiment, but honestly, don't worry about it." However, I can't do that.

1 - Because it's rude. Someone's concerned (whether out of sincerity or out of awkward obligation), and I'm not going to tell them to leave me alone.

2 - It's not true. I don't want everybody to leave me alone. I don't. I want almost everybody to leave me alone. And I know who I want to ask me. Well, actually, it depends on what is bothering me as to who I want to ask me. I have my typical 5 people that I want to ask me. Unfortunately, most of them are guys. And (yes, I'm being sexist here), most guys are horrible at recognizing these things. Or they recognize them, but forget that since we're girls, we do want to talk about it. Or forget that (yes, we're being difficult) if you ask us "is something wrong?" and we say "nothing".. There's a really good chance there really is something, but we want you to ask us again (unless you're dealing with Jenna, who has told me that it takes 3 times for her to typically come clean). Not because we want you to catch us in a "nothing lie", but because I think we mentally want to make sure you really want to know. Anyone can ask and take whatever answer you give them.. But when it's one of the people (at least for me) that I really do want to talk to about my issues.. I want to make sure you really want to know, and aren't just asking because you think you should. Girls tend to be pretty observant on that stuff. Which can be a blessing, and can be a pain.. But most of the time it is definitely a blessing :)

I know, it's girly. It's dumb. It's annoying.

It's actually something I've been working on the last year or so. Phill has this (for lack of a better word) rule for our friendship: complete honesty. And I know that sounds dumb.. Because we should all be completely honest. But how often are we asked simple questions (like "how are you?" or "do you like this shirt?") that we bluff a quick answer ("I'm good, you?" (as you were fighting with your mom on the way to Starbucks) or "it's super cute!" (as you mentally think of 300 shirts you saw at Good Will that look so much better)) without thinking of them as lies, more as "fillers" because it's expected, and it's the easiest answer.

We've all done it.

Anyways, with this "rule", that's not an option between us. And it was annoying at first. Not because I "couldn't lie" - the truth is always better! - but because I was catching myself, or he was catching me, all the time. Mostly about "what's wrong?" type of questions. The "rule" also applies to starting a story, then realizing you shouldn't tell the story, so you say "nevermind". Yeah, I don't get away with "neverminds" anymore. It all comes out now. Which, like I said, was annoying, but I've gotten very used to it.

Where in the world was I going with this..

Oh!

So I've started (not necessarily on purpose, just out of habit, which isn't a bad thing) applying this rule in all aspects of my life. When someone asks how I'm doing, if I'm doing great, I tell them! If I'm having a blah day, I say that "things could be better, but it will be okay"! If someone asks me what I think of an article of clothing that I'm not particularly fond of, I'll find something good to say about it.. Normally along the lines of "That's not my taste, for me, but I think it works for you!", because it's true. If it's a guy, I can normally just straight up tell them I don't like it :)

I don't know why I felt compelled to write this. I had a blah day, but I'm okay now. That's probably why.

Okay, that was a lie. I do know why I wanted to write this. Because I was frustrated that a boy didn't read my mind today to figure out what was going on with me. But that's not his fault, it's my fault. And I should have brought it up instead of fuming over him not knowing I wanted him to ask me - twice. :)

It's such a girly predicament. And it's no one's fault but mine.

I'm lying here in bed, watching Wizard of Oz as my background noise while trying to drift off into unconsciousness.. And I got distracted and started reading through some of the blogs of some of the awesome Christian speakers of today.

John Piper

John MacArthur

Al Mohler

CJ Mahaney

And I've decided to post a link to some of the articles I enjoyed reading..

Bankruptcy in the Cathedral - Al Mohler
(My take on the Crystal Cathedral's bankruptcy can be found here)

It's God's Will That You Suffer for Righteousness' Sake - John MacArthur
(Intriguing to me because I wrote about suffering recently, too)

Marriage Outside the Faith? The Logic of Christian Marriage - Al Mohler
(Some facts on why marrying outside your faith is bad, other than because you're not supposed to be unequally yoked)

Pornography - The Difference Being a Parent Makes - Al Mohler
(I like that this shows - kinda sorta - Steve Jobs' paternal side)

The Submissive Wife - John MacArthur
(I've written on this before, too. There's nothing wrong with a man being in charge!)

Questions to Ask When Preparing for Marriage - John Piper
(I thought this was interesting! And something that everyone should read, even if they're just in the dating or predating stages of a relationship. Because it's stuff you can keep in the back of your mind as you're getting to know each other)

That's just a few of them :)

And for the record, I've definitely started writing three blog posts in the last few days, and I haven't finished any of them.. So I'm proud I'm finishing this one :)

It's not a secret that I love reality shows. I swear I've blogged about it before (probably on my other blog somewhere), but I just skimmed over the titles and I couldn't find it.

Of all of my reality show obsessions, I can't deny that the Kardashians are my favorite. I don't know why. Maybe it's how they can do such horrible things like getting a DUI and having sex tapes leaked.. But in the end, they stick together cuz they're a family.

A lot of people relate to them, just because they go through the guy drama, family drama, work drama.. It's just on a grander scale and is in front of the spot light. I honestly can't say that I relate to them, just that they're so interesting.

Anyway, I was reading their newly released book Kardashian Konfidential today, and they were telling their life stories.. And I kept thinking about what it would be like if I were in their shoes. Not that I was Kim, Kourtney, or Khloe (hey, I would fit in as Kelsey, huh?), but if I was in their shoes as who I am.

How would the reality show look? Just put mine and my family's lives on the TV.

It's interesting to think about.

Cameras following Jenna, Selah, and I around to work, church, school, friends, home..

A camera watching me at work, as I talk, help, and deal with people. It would catch my (way too frequent) eye rolls as PEBCAC issues arise. They'd catch me laughing a lot. It'd probably cause issues (other than the distraction of a camera crew filling the office and legality issues) because you'd be ble to tell which people I enjoy helping more than others. Lol. It'd be interesting, though.

A camera following me to church would be cool. Get Pastor Mike's sermons (or snippets of them) out in the world beyond our church. It would show the amazing awesomeness of what a real, growing, God-focused church family looks like - and not the craziness that they always seem to display Christians as in the media. You'd see the genuine love for Christ and for each other. You could see that we know how to have fun. And we know how to please Christ. And I just think it'd be awesome!

Hah! A camera team following me at school would probably be really boring. It'd show me in class, reading a book behind my purse, texting under the desk, or doodling in my notebook (hey! I'm a multitasker!). It'd probably show me wide eyed at the craziness of liberal teachers and self focused fellow college students. I've lost track of how many times my jaw seems to hit the ground because of proclamations that teachers make.

I wonder what a camera would pick up when I'm with my friends. And what friends? My church friends or my school friends? Both? Would it show me acting differently around my different groups of friends? I hope not, that's something I've been working on the last few years, and I feel like I don't act differently now. It'd honestly probably show how happy I am when I mixed my worlds. It'd show how sad I get when I realize the lack of faith in a lot of my friends, and how much I love spiritual talks with any of them (believers or not).

They'd follow me to Disneyland with Phill, car rides with Nicole or Michelle, watching movies at Nick's with Mae, hanging with Ben, Phill, and Kimmie at the boys' house, and standing in line for midnight showings for hours on end.

And family time. That would be fun, actually. Like a constant streaming of home videos. It'd catch us laughing and talking. And stealing each others' food when one leaves the room and fighting over the softest blanket. It'd also show me in my room reading or on my laptop. Jenna napping on the couch. Mom sewing flags at the table. Dad reading on the couch or porch. It'd show Selah and Kenny coming over. Selah talking about baking or work, and Kenny sitting on the couch to see if there's a football game on the TV. It would rarely show us fighting or arguing. It'd probably be a good couple of seasons before you'd see any of that.

They'd probably catch a heck of a lot more - good and bad. It probably would only last a few episodes, because I don't think most people would understand, love, and enjoy my life the way that I do.

But at least it be some sweet videos for me :)