If I did New Year's Resolutions, I probably would have made a resolution to blog more. Well, I'm glad I didn't make that resolution, so I don't have to feel bad about just getting around to it now.
My friend Rebekah and I were talking about a status I'd written on Facebook a few weeks ago about nicknames (keep reading), and decided that we should write a book on "the little things". As in "the things that everyone should know, but no one's made the official rule about" - if that doesn't make any sense.. Keep reading! So instead of a book or the notepad on my desk at work, I'm going to blog the rules. They may be silly rules. And they may be dumb. But I want to write them down. :)
Rule #1: Nicknames: Wait until you're friends with someone before calling them a nickname.
"What's the appropriate amount of time for someone to know you in order for them to start calling you a nickname (i.e. "Kels")? I understand a quick transition from Nicholas to Nick (especially if they introduce themself as the latter).. But I feel like being able to call a Kelsey a Kels (or Bethany a Beth or Elizabeth a Lizzy) has to come later, and almost be earned."
This status was inspired by someone that had not known me very long at all. And from the get-go, they called me "Kels".
I really don't mind people calling me "Kels" - I LOVE nicknames, terms of endearment (the most commonly used one these days is "kdub"), but there's just something that rubs me the wrong way when I introduce myself as "Kelsey", and the next day I'm "Kels", with no other conversations in between.
I'm not actually looking for a specific "4 months" timeline, but I think there needs to be a growth in the friendship to be able to use a nickname. Not a set amount of growth, just something. If no growth, you should at least have their phone number. Heck, or maybe even just take that leap and be friends on Facebook (because, ya know, Facebook friendship means official friends) (please recognize the sarcasm in that). Just something that says "I know more than your name".. Because if all you know is my name, and you decide to shorten or personalize it (the ONE thing you know about me).. That's just odd.
Special Note 1: Rebekah brought up a very good point: If you are not good enough friends with someone to be able to tell them that you don't like the nickname they've chosen for you, then you're really not good enough of friends for them to be able to call you a nickname at all. Unfortunately, since you're not good enough friends to be able to tell them you don't like the nickname, you're also probably not good enough friends to be able to hold that conversation with them without it being extremely awkward. Or maybe that's the first step to helping the friendship grow? I'm not sure.
Special Note 2: My mom commented on my status that she has a hard time stopping herself from calling other people named Kelsey "Kel" since that's what she's always called me and it's just habit. Rebekah even mentioned that she hates being called "Bekah", but she's okay with Selah and I calling her that only because she knows it's out of habit because we have a plethora of Rebecca/Rebekah's in our lives that shorten their names to Becca/Bekah. Ironically enough, Rebekah goes by "Becky", but I have a hard time calling her that because several of the other Rebecca/Rebekah's in my life hate being calling that. This is something though that I think we should have the courtesy of caveating when we catch ourselves calling someone be a nickname prematurely (or incorrectly) - "Sorry, it's habit because..... I'll work on it!"
Special Note 3: I will not spell a nickname different than how their official name is spelled (example, Rebekah would never be Becca). The only person that I let call me "Kelz" is my friend Catie, because she's always called me that and it's just her name for me. But if someone else were to bust that out, I'd shut it down. For some reason, the shortening of Jenna will always be Jen, yet Jennifer with always be Jenn for me. Stephanie will always be Steph, not Stef. Also, Selah is always shortened by be to Sel (pronounced "say"). I just can't bring myself to spell it "Sey".
And that's rule number 1!